by reading my title u should know that i am very stressed up and tired ... i really dunno how to handle things... just cos i keep getting sick , my mum keeps thinking why i keep getting sick .. know i have been a useless boy, and on top of that i am also a gay ... i just really cant handle it anymore , i just really wanna cry out loud but i cant ... i am so use to laugh at things and laught off my sorrow and till now i dunno even know how to cry any more, i am so stress with work and also all my problems and further more the thing i hate the most is already coming soon and i really dont wanna go for it ... i really just hope to just disappear ... all i have in mind now is to end my pitiful life ... i kept thinking of it, cos no matter what , if i live on i will be still the same, i am just a bloody idiot with just luck and dunno anything... like what my mum say, work also cannot , study also cannot, go army also cannot so might as well just stay home and sleep ... i really just wanna sleep ... and if can i wanna sleep for eternity ... and maybe go to the paradise of after life ... i dont wanna disgrace my godma jolin , my god mama dei and also my mum... but what i am is already a disgrsce to my mum and somemore now, we all work in the same company, what i do wrong may also reflect on this too, i dont wan it to happen, i try my best to do things nicely but it just seems that no one appriciate and also trys to find fault with me. everyday i wake up at 7.30 go to work at 9 and end work at 6 every day with out fail i will be attack. i ask people how to do thing, they will show me attitude only but for some nice people they will help me. otherwise they will try to feed me with wrong informations, or worst, what they do wrongly they throw the fault at me. and what can i do ? just quietly accept it and keep it to myself. i am like a stupid punching bag letting people to attack me. i am like so totally down. i feel so down and hoping to tell me mum my problems but sat the end. she din listen to what i wanna say, and she say that i am just lazy and trying to "geng". i dunno how to say. last time she told me why i dont tell her my problems, but i wanna ask is how am i suppose to tell her about my personal problems when she keep attacking me ? and by now she should know i fall sick easily but yet she keep telling me dont "geng" ok... i am like just so bloody upset and yet the rest of the day she keep giving my a bloody attitude and i just accepted it and kept quiet ... i just really dunno why my life is so bitter ... since young i always get bullied in school, i kept to myself, not telling my mum, i get mock in school cos i have no father, and now she say i am like this cos u have no father to teach ... and all i can do is listen and bear with what she say... in front of all my other friend i try to be cheerful and i kept quiet, some i dont even dare to tell them that i am a gay... afraid that i will loose them i just kept quiet. but i know if they ever know about me they will not accept me cos they dislike gays ...
today, it is the worst day of my life ... i tried to bluff myself off things but at the end of the day... facts is always facts that cant be change ... like what some people like to say, once a gay always one ... i am lke ya ... it toook me bout more than 16 years and count to try to accept that i am a gay ,on top of that it took me 16 year and counting to accept that i dont have a father and i have suffer 17 years of mocking and being bullied. and what i do, i just kept to myself without telling my mum ... and when i try to tell her some problems of mine, she starts tp nag at me... and now a days i feel so down and up set ... i dunno how ... anyway take all my friends and readers of my blog ... am kinda upset now so i am going to go and chill myself.... so cya all
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
time comes and goes and yet so bored ~~~~
hello all ^^ i guess u all must be asking why is my title time comes and goes and yet so bored . anyway, the reason i used such a title is because i feel that time is passing by so fast ~~~ and it seems to be sipping throught bit by bit as i type this posting. but oh well time cannot be stop. everyone will have to reach 50 some day thought hehhe . so i guess i will still leave on to my moto ^^ happy also one day, sad also one day, cry also one day, so might as well be happy and smile all the way ^^. thought it is easy to say, but it ishard to do such a thing but i have try haha and well it worked ^^
anyway, afew days ago, i quarreled with my mum and now we are fine ^^ and she is like more and more concern about me ^^ thought we quarreled and din wanna speak to each other we still at the end smsed each other and chat ^^ hahaha like what people say, all mothers are the same thought they are angry with us but at the end they still love us and have a softy spot for us and we are the same too hehehe at the end will still give in to them. but anyway, my mum is my only parent left so i guess it is only right to listen to her, be with her, surpport her and spent time with her ^^ further mor, my mum now knows that i am a gay she accepted it thought she told me that she is sad cos i am a gay and she tells me to try to change and of cos i will try to change but still i tried so many time and i cant ^^ but still, i some how still prefer guys over girls, i feel that to be with a guy is better than to be with a gal cos, just somehow guys are sometimes sweeter and also will help each other more cos it is a guys natural character to be stronger and supportive ^^ and a guy who i love supporting me and me supporting a guy i love is what i really wish for ^^
anyway now i am working now, and in my offce i am the only guy in my department and they think that i am a nomal guy hehehe, and i really hope they dont ask me this, where is ur girlfriend, cos if they ask i really dunno what to say, am i going to say oh i am a gay and i only like guys or am i just going to tell another lie. but lets put it this way, if i tell people i am a gay, they will start to avoid me and pinpoint me and if i tell them a lie i have to tell many lie to cover a lie hiazz... which i really dont wanna. but it seems that i have no choice but to tell a lie and cover it with many other lies which it is going to mak it into a big fat lump of lies.but well, i guess the big fat lump of lie is better rthan to tell the truth, cos i dont wanna let my mum to be a laughting stock and also not to disgrace her. further more we are working in the same company so i guess it is best that it is kept a secret about my sexuality. but i just wonder, if one day my working colleague finds out that i am a gay, what will happen ... will my working life be worst ? or will be the same peaceful and full of laughter ? hiazz but i guess it is best that i keep it a secret even till the day i leave my company. Oh well guess it is tme for me to hit the hay. kinda late ler and also my hair is already dried so i guess i wll go sleep bah ^^ so nites all and have a good night sleep ^^ will try to update my bloggy asap ~~~ cos working so lesser time to update my blog hahha ^^ OYASUMI NAHSAI ~~~~ good night, sweet dreams and sleep tight ^^ bye bye ~~~~
anyway, afew days ago, i quarreled with my mum and now we are fine ^^ and she is like more and more concern about me ^^ thought we quarreled and din wanna speak to each other we still at the end smsed each other and chat ^^ hahaha like what people say, all mothers are the same thought they are angry with us but at the end they still love us and have a softy spot for us and we are the same too hehehe at the end will still give in to them. but anyway, my mum is my only parent left so i guess it is only right to listen to her, be with her, surpport her and spent time with her ^^ further mor, my mum now knows that i am a gay she accepted it thought she told me that she is sad cos i am a gay and she tells me to try to change and of cos i will try to change but still i tried so many time and i cant ^^ but still, i some how still prefer guys over girls, i feel that to be with a guy is better than to be with a gal cos, just somehow guys are sometimes sweeter and also will help each other more cos it is a guys natural character to be stronger and supportive ^^ and a guy who i love supporting me and me supporting a guy i love is what i really wish for ^^
anyway now i am working now, and in my offce i am the only guy in my department and they think that i am a nomal guy hehehe, and i really hope they dont ask me this, where is ur girlfriend, cos if they ask i really dunno what to say, am i going to say oh i am a gay and i only like guys or am i just going to tell another lie. but lets put it this way, if i tell people i am a gay, they will start to avoid me and pinpoint me and if i tell them a lie i have to tell many lie to cover a lie hiazz... which i really dont wanna. but it seems that i have no choice but to tell a lie and cover it with many other lies which it is going to mak it into a big fat lump of lies.but well, i guess the big fat lump of lie is better rthan to tell the truth, cos i dont wanna let my mum to be a laughting stock and also not to disgrace her. further more we are working in the same company so i guess it is best that it is kept a secret about my sexuality. but i just wonder, if one day my working colleague finds out that i am a gay, what will happen ... will my working life be worst ? or will be the same peaceful and full of laughter ? hiazz but i guess it is best that i keep it a secret even till the day i leave my company. Oh well guess it is tme for me to hit the hay. kinda late ler and also my hair is already dried so i guess i wll go sleep bah ^^ so nites all and have a good night sleep ^^ will try to update my bloggy asap ~~~ cos working so lesser time to update my blog hahha ^^ OYASUMI NAHSAI ~~~~ good night, sweet dreams and sleep tight ^^ bye bye ~~~~
Monday, October 6, 2008
ANGRY ~~~~~ ANGrier ~~~~~~~ angriest
argh !!! i am so angry with my mother ... i was told to do some eclaim on short notice, and it was like so unfair to me ... T-T just cos i dont wanna let my mummy down and also not to give trouble to her friend i rush the stupid e claim for her.... than now i am sick and my mummy nag at me T-T where is justice !!!! not fair to me ... here was what happen.
as usual every friday for people who work is a happy day, so at night my friend ask me to play mahjong and of cos i agreed, so we play mahjong on friday night till saturday morning, and on that friday night my mama jolin told me she is going to drop thee claim thingy on friday night in my letter box without even telling me that the dead line was on sunday which was the 5th september and so hearing that i quickly called my brother and ask him if he open the letter box, and he told me well if there is any letter i will put it on ur bed and i dont even have the letter box key, and wth i went home that night it was not on my bed and he was not home and so i played mahjong, that night while playing mahjong, i game a game with 13 wonders and my friends and bro was shock. after that i went to meet my mummy and her friends to go pray. and of cos it was a wonderful day till my mama jolin tells me that the e claim dead end is tomorrow ~~ i was like WTH ... and i was already not feeling very well since friday morning ... and i just kept quiet, and once my mum heard that she than gave me a copy of the letter box key !!!! i was like wth, so no choice, i had to go home and open the letter box andthan do the e claim, and when i saw the e claim i wws like WTF so many how to finish, so no choice sine the time i got home i did the claim till the next morning and than i had a short sleep and i woke up and continue doing it. without doing anything i did all the e claims and finally at SUNDAY NIGHT 10 plus i finish every thing and i pass it to mama jolin and at that moment i am like having migrains and also having a little gastric ... i went dow nto buy my dinner ate my dinner and i feel so sick ... thw whole night i could niot sleep, and this morning i called my mum my mum gave me bloody attitue i was like eth, just cos dont wanna let her be in a bad position i got attitude for her and i got sick just becos of that !! T-T so unfair to me sob sob. why must i always get into this type of idiotic situations ... so unfair to me !!! i wanna cry but cant cry ..... why she like that de ..... but i felt it was very noble of her accepting that i am a gay and also showered me with more love and attention but i dont understand what i am doign is becos of her ... oif i know she was like that than bloody hgell i am not going to rush the eclaims for her !!!!!!! it is like so unfair to me !
as usual every friday for people who work is a happy day, so at night my friend ask me to play mahjong and of cos i agreed, so we play mahjong on friday night till saturday morning, and on that friday night my mama jolin told me she is going to drop thee claim thingy on friday night in my letter box without even telling me that the dead line was on sunday which was the 5th september and so hearing that i quickly called my brother and ask him if he open the letter box, and he told me well if there is any letter i will put it on ur bed and i dont even have the letter box key, and wth i went home that night it was not on my bed and he was not home and so i played mahjong, that night while playing mahjong, i game a game with 13 wonders and my friends and bro was shock. after that i went to meet my mummy and her friends to go pray. and of cos it was a wonderful day till my mama jolin tells me that the e claim dead end is tomorrow ~~ i was like WTH ... and i was already not feeling very well since friday morning ... and i just kept quiet, and once my mum heard that she than gave me a copy of the letter box key !!!! i was like wth, so no choice, i had to go home and open the letter box andthan do the e claim, and when i saw the e claim i wws like WTF so many how to finish, so no choice sine the time i got home i did the claim till the next morning and than i had a short sleep and i woke up and continue doing it. without doing anything i did all the e claims and finally at SUNDAY NIGHT 10 plus i finish every thing and i pass it to mama jolin and at that moment i am like having migrains and also having a little gastric ... i went dow nto buy my dinner ate my dinner and i feel so sick ... thw whole night i could niot sleep, and this morning i called my mum my mum gave me bloody attitue i was like eth, just cos dont wanna let her be in a bad position i got attitude for her and i got sick just becos of that !! T-T so unfair to me sob sob. why must i always get into this type of idiotic situations ... so unfair to me !!! i wanna cry but cant cry ..... why she like that de ..... but i felt it was very noble of her accepting that i am a gay and also showered me with more love and attention but i dont understand what i am doign is becos of her ... oif i know she was like that than bloody hgell i am not going to rush the eclaims for her !!!!!!! it is like so unfair to me !
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
hmmmm ~~~ busy and tired yet cant stop what iam doing ...
hiaz, from reading my title u should know i have just start to work, so tired, everyda wake p at 7.30 am thansower leave home head to work at redhill, than 6 p leave office and go home ... so tired, but i kinda ike the job, thought what i do is to ensre that everything matches and thn relax haha, i like this kinda job, i hate those going around and move up and down ...
haha thought i like th work but it is kinda tired, but anyway back to the issue where i told y mummy that i dont like girls, she accepted it and i told my god kor kor and his gal frien , my gan mei mei and a close friend of mine and they were like i see and than that trigger me thinking have they already expected to be like this or not... thought i get some goood scolding from my kor kor haha but he still care for me ^^
oh well for now i think this is the few friends i trust the most but i wanna tell my best buddy whom i have know since primary one ^^ hope he is free soon so i can tell him about it. but oh well, a least i have friends who really accept me for who i am, this kinda friends are hard to find so i consider myself lucky to have such friends ^^
oh well guess i am tired, i am heading for my bed so good night to all and have a good public holiday ^^ muacks love u guys ^^
haha thought i like th work but it is kinda tired, but anyway back to the issue where i told y mummy that i dont like girls, she accepted it and i told my god kor kor and his gal frien , my gan mei mei and a close friend of mine and they were like i see and than that trigger me thinking have they already expected to be like this or not... thought i get some goood scolding from my kor kor haha but he still care for me ^^
oh well for now i think this is the few friends i trust the most but i wanna tell my best buddy whom i have know since primary one ^^ hope he is free soon so i can tell him about it. but oh well, a least i have friends who really accept me for who i am, this kinda friends are hard to find so i consider myself lucky to have such friends ^^
oh well guess i am tired, i am heading for my bed so good night to all and have a good public holiday ^^ muacks love u guys ^^
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
have choosen the path and told the truth ...
Hi all , well i guess u might have guess what i have dont from what my title of this posting have posted. Well i have told my mum that i am not straingh , thought ithought she would be extreme upset, angry with me and also upset with me she din. All she said was " my darling, try ur best and change, do it for mummy seek." I was like so upset when she said that to me, i was expecting that she would be angry and would yell at me but she din, after telling her for the next few dayds she kept smsing me asking where am i, what i was doing and also have i eaten. So most of the time i will reply her said that i am at home and i am looking for things to do, well all of it is true. But it came to the question if i have eaten i told her that i have no appitide and all she said was darling, u must eat and dont be troubled by what u have told me yesterday. I was like totally so upset and depressed that i literally wanted to breakdown. but ever since my mum know that i am not so straight and also different from my brothers, she was more patient and also gave me more attention, but because of this i am even more upset, but at least one of my greatest problem have been solve but there is more to come. Like for example how am i suppose to tell her i have boyfriends before and also what if i am attach how to tell her ? Thats the part i am kinda troubled with actually, but oh well i will have to use the policy i used to say boat till peir will automatically turn straight.
But anyway till today it have been like 5 to 6 days. My mum is still the same she will sms me and ask me where am i. But i notice the new question that recently pop out after i told her bout my sexuality orientation, and the question is "who are u with ?". But well as time passs sooner or later if i ever get attach again i have to intro my other half to my mum too and i hope she will accept it, further more now she have just accepted that i am a gay, it is already ahuge blow to her. I dont think she can handle it if i told her i have boyfriends. And what if when i tell her i haver boyfriends and she ask how many boyfriends i have before how am i suppose to tell her ? She will be fainting i guess. So for now i think the wisest choice for me now is to keep quiet and lay low and see what will happen. Hope that she will not ask such questions so that i will not have to tell her all about it. Thought i have once told her before that being gay is genectically in built in use. It has been decided that we are gay or not the day we were born. So there is no way we can decide for ourself for that and all we could do is to just act straight and not allow anyone to know we are what we are but only allowing some of our close friend know that we are and our family members know will do. Excluding brothers, sisters and grandparents. Oh well i guess that would be all the things i wanna say bah but i will try to make another posting tomorrow ^^. thanx for reading my bloggy ^^ thanx ~~~ thanx to all my reader love u guys. PLEASE to ake full use of the shout box. leave ur comment there and make some noise hahaha LOVE U GUYS ^^
But anyway till today it have been like 5 to 6 days. My mum is still the same she will sms me and ask me where am i. But i notice the new question that recently pop out after i told her bout my sexuality orientation, and the question is "who are u with ?". But well as time passs sooner or later if i ever get attach again i have to intro my other half to my mum too and i hope she will accept it, further more now she have just accepted that i am a gay, it is already ahuge blow to her. I dont think she can handle it if i told her i have boyfriends. And what if when i tell her i haver boyfriends and she ask how many boyfriends i have before how am i suppose to tell her ? She will be fainting i guess. So for now i think the wisest choice for me now is to keep quiet and lay low and see what will happen. Hope that she will not ask such questions so that i will not have to tell her all about it. Thought i have once told her before that being gay is genectically in built in use. It has been decided that we are gay or not the day we were born. So there is no way we can decide for ourself for that and all we could do is to just act straight and not allow anyone to know we are what we are but only allowing some of our close friend know that we are and our family members know will do. Excluding brothers, sisters and grandparents. Oh well i guess that would be all the things i wanna say bah but i will try to make another posting tomorrow ^^. thanx for reading my bloggy ^^ thanx ~~~ thanx to all my reader love u guys. PLEASE to ake full use of the shout box. leave ur comment there and make some noise hahaha LOVE U GUYS ^^
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
times running out ... 2 options left ... do or die ...
hiaz... today have been a bad day for me. i literally am feeling kinda down and depressed. not only my family is getting from bad to worst, but i am feeling really really tired of living and carrying on with my life ... now a days i am always alone at home, and the worst part is my mum is never home, except on mondays ... and sometimes saturday we will go out together, there are some things i really do like to tell her like my sexual oreintation, but afraid that she may not be able to accept it, i strive to keep it to myself and act as the child she wanted me to be, a normal boy who would have a gal friend... and than develope it further and start a family but i cant ... cos i really have no feelings for gals, i tried to like gals but it always failed.. and i dont wanna leave any burden behind, i dont wan any other woman to be like my mum, slog hell alot just to bring up 3 useless brothers , and at the end ... elder brothers is a loner who like to bear grudges and dont talk to my mum, second one, once got married got wife ... he would never even remember he have a mum... would only remember her when she has a car to borrow ... and as for me ... unable to be like a normal man to fall in love with a gal and have a family and also not completeing my studies... every night i tried to make myself to go to bed,but no matter how hard i tried not to think of this question it will still always pops out in my mind and haunt me and the question would be "will mummy accept me for who am i ?" and after that i would think of this "what if she dont" ... i just cant keep myself from thinking all the things that will happen to her, i am so scare that she will just be so emotionall down and depressed which i really hope it will not happen, but i really cant tolerate it anymore, and i really wanna confess to her but i just dont dare to ... it is like so hard for me to hide things from her as i never like to hide things from her ... and i am so scare that if i admit and cofess to her that i am a gay, she would disown me which i dont wan ... so i really hope i can make myself to keep it as a secret and never tell it to my mum ...
hiaz... i just really dunno how, just that there is no one i can really talk to share with my problems and my close friends and best friends are all anti gays and i am like so so so upset, there is like totally no one where i can speak to about my problems ... like today ... she came home and i was so happy ... but than my friend asked me to play mahjong and i said ok, so me , my elder bro plus my both friends played mahjong till today morning and after that my friends went home and my brother went to work ... and she started to nag at me ... i like the usual will just listen and if it is some important points i will remember( but most of the time all repeated), but i was kinda sad when she started to give me attitude, i was feeling so upset and thought i know i am a really useless person who dont even know A to Z when i was in K2 and would only know how to count 1 to 10 while the others already knew 1 to 100 ...and now, i am like so useless, everything is like cant do can do, not only i am changing my poly (meaning not completed studies) but also my health is starting to fail me... i know i am really useless but i just really cant help to think of my mum all the time ... i always think of her so frequent and would sms her soethings in the middle of the night,and she would reply me in the morning ... i really love her so much and i dont bear to hide things from her but i really cant imagine the impacto n her if i ever tell her i have a preference for guys, i just really cant imagine...and all i can do now is just saying sorry to her on this blog, while knowing her that she is bad with computer and dunno anything bout blog...
i am really sorry mummy that i am a useless and also good for nothing.. but pls forgive me that i am not a normal guy who will go and like a gal thought i am a bisexual but still i prefer guys far more than gals... i am really sorry mummy i really hope u will accept me for who i am ... LOVE U MUMMY ......
Ur Unfaithful Son
hiaz... i just really dunno how, just that there is no one i can really talk to share with my problems and my close friends and best friends are all anti gays and i am like so so so upset, there is like totally no one where i can speak to about my problems ... like today ... she came home and i was so happy ... but than my friend asked me to play mahjong and i said ok, so me , my elder bro plus my both friends played mahjong till today morning and after that my friends went home and my brother went to work ... and she started to nag at me ... i like the usual will just listen and if it is some important points i will remember( but most of the time all repeated), but i was kinda sad when she started to give me attitude, i was feeling so upset and thought i know i am a really useless person who dont even know A to Z when i was in K2 and would only know how to count 1 to 10 while the others already knew 1 to 100 ...and now, i am like so useless, everything is like cant do can do, not only i am changing my poly (meaning not completed studies) but also my health is starting to fail me... i know i am really useless but i just really cant help to think of my mum all the time ... i always think of her so frequent and would sms her soethings in the middle of the night,and she would reply me in the morning ... i really love her so much and i dont bear to hide things from her but i really cant imagine the impacto n her if i ever tell her i have a preference for guys, i just really cant imagine...and all i can do now is just saying sorry to her on this blog, while knowing her that she is bad with computer and dunno anything bout blog...
i am really sorry mummy that i am a useless and also good for nothing.. but pls forgive me that i am not a normal guy who will go and like a gal thought i am a bisexual but still i prefer guys far more than gals... i am really sorry mummy i really hope u will accept me for who i am ... LOVE U MUMMY ......
Ur Unfaithful Son
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Hmmmmmm~~~ does old flames really do burn again ~~~
hi all it has been sometime before i have up dated my bloggy, oh well today my ex who was my first first bf pm me on a msn, thought last time we were once together, the feeling i have for him and my recent bf was really different, the reason he gave and have left me was because he wanted to cocentrade on his studies and i accepted it but it was kinda painful...
as time pass by, thought we were separated i still have feelings for him , just now when i was chatting to him, he kinda hinted that he wants a patch, and i really dont mind patching back together with him cos i really like him, thought his year is his o levels but still i really liked him alot, and he is the only bf that i have been attach to for the longest, and i really like him alot, but anyway today he wants to meet me up and maybe if things goes well we may be back together again and if i were get back together with him i would be happy hahaha, but still he was afraid to ask me directly cos he was afraid that i may not accept him again, but the fact was that i was waiting for him to ask me to go back to him, cos when i am with him the feeling was so different, everything i felt was kinda perfect. but welll we can say but stillto matter what after a wound recovers there will be still scars left at where the wound is. but oh well, to my feeling the chances for us= to patch back is kinda high but still there is still a low chance where there will be a no ... so we shall see how things goes.
oh well, time have passed so fast and i cant believe it is going to be christmas soon, i have broke up with my bf bout 3 weeks and it seeks to be just yesterday, and u know something i just found out that my the last last bf, he was seeing someone behind my back while he was with me, and all along my guard feeling was correct, oh well, i knew as much when i know him the first time, he always tells me he is busy and so on but where he is after his work ? bugis playing game... what i do i kept quiet, week ends call him to accompany me, what he told mee ? he told me he was busy but after that i found out he is drinking at tanjong pagar at a aj pub i also kept quiet, and whats the best part ? promised to call me everytime also din call i still remain silence, told him to sms me in the mornign when he is up ? did if for the first 2 weeks than after that he din and when i called him and said wah never sms me he said i know u will call me so i din sms, i was like ok but i already saw the end of the relationship was drawing near... oh well, i dont wanna say who is he but u know who i am saying ... cos i have spoken to afew of ur ex and they said the same thing, but anyway let me tell u this, don enter a relationship and start to tell people that u wan him to be loyal to u and also truthful to u while behind his back keep meeting others and also telling lies... and u keep saying u have no money and u kept changeing phone isnt it ironic ? but i mean it is up to u if u wanna do such a thing but u tc , dont forget , aj circle is small and so u dont think u can do things that u like with out letting ur other half know thats is if u are attach now ok ? u should know i am talking bout u bah , the one who stays at jurong west...
oh well i am happy that i am no longer with him hahahaha , anyway thanx for reading my bloggy ^^ thans u guys muacks ~~~ hope u all will visit again hehehe anywya i will post a joke maybe later today so i hope u guys will like it MUACKS and thanx for visiting my bloggy ^^ love u alll and i love u most mummy
as time pass by, thought we were separated i still have feelings for him , just now when i was chatting to him, he kinda hinted that he wants a patch, and i really dont mind patching back together with him cos i really like him, thought his year is his o levels but still i really liked him alot, and he is the only bf that i have been attach to for the longest, and i really like him alot, but anyway today he wants to meet me up and maybe if things goes well we may be back together again and if i were get back together with him i would be happy hahaha, but still he was afraid to ask me directly cos he was afraid that i may not accept him again, but the fact was that i was waiting for him to ask me to go back to him, cos when i am with him the feeling was so different, everything i felt was kinda perfect. but welll we can say but stillto matter what after a wound recovers there will be still scars left at where the wound is. but oh well, to my feeling the chances for us= to patch back is kinda high but still there is still a low chance where there will be a no ... so we shall see how things goes.
oh well, time have passed so fast and i cant believe it is going to be christmas soon, i have broke up with my bf bout 3 weeks and it seeks to be just yesterday, and u know something i just found out that my the last last bf, he was seeing someone behind my back while he was with me, and all along my guard feeling was correct, oh well, i knew as much when i know him the first time, he always tells me he is busy and so on but where he is after his work ? bugis playing game... what i do i kept quiet, week ends call him to accompany me, what he told mee ? he told me he was busy but after that i found out he is drinking at tanjong pagar at a aj pub i also kept quiet, and whats the best part ? promised to call me everytime also din call i still remain silence, told him to sms me in the mornign when he is up ? did if for the first 2 weeks than after that he din and when i called him and said wah never sms me he said i know u will call me so i din sms, i was like ok but i already saw the end of the relationship was drawing near... oh well, i dont wanna say who is he but u know who i am saying ... cos i have spoken to afew of ur ex and they said the same thing, but anyway let me tell u this, don enter a relationship and start to tell people that u wan him to be loyal to u and also truthful to u while behind his back keep meeting others and also telling lies... and u keep saying u have no money and u kept changeing phone isnt it ironic ? but i mean it is up to u if u wanna do such a thing but u tc , dont forget , aj circle is small and so u dont think u can do things that u like with out letting ur other half know thats is if u are attach now ok ? u should know i am talking bout u bah , the one who stays at jurong west...
oh well i am happy that i am no longer with him hahahaha , anyway thanx for reading my bloggy ^^ thans u guys muacks ~~~ hope u all will visit again hehehe anywya i will post a joke maybe later today so i hope u guys will like it MUACKS and thanx for visiting my bloggy ^^ love u alll and i love u most mummy
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