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hi guy , i guess u were wondering why i name my this current posting this title .. well i wa kinda pissed off with what happen on friday... u see in the aj circle or even logic wise ... there are some ground rule we have to follow but some how this pair of newly attach couple just did something and i was really pissed off ... thought the humble boy is my friend and is kinda new to the aj circle din know anything so it is ok but his bf well kinda know but still did it ... so this was what happen ...
On friday night i recieve a called from my dear friend boi boi ... he called me and ask me whether can he come to my house so i said not sure ... cos i am not sure if my mum will be home ... and also wondering how he was doing... so i ask him to ask my bro whether if can stay over at his place ... so before asking him to ask my bro(the diva) i actually ask him if u were coming alone and he say no he was bringing a friend ... so when he said a friend is coming along the first question that pop out of my mind immidiately was is he aj or a straight ... this was what he reply ..." i dunno u ask him" so i say ok ... so i ask whats his name ... my friend said his name is JOHN so i said ok ... so since he said he dunno he is a aj or not i told him say ok so my next question was u come my house do what ? he say cabal so i said Oi dont hor later u dump him there than i entertain again is it ?(happen once when he brought someone to my house with out my permission and lucky i know that person) so i say no we play card together ok ? he said ok so i say i get back to u later and ask him to ask my bro ... soon my bro say his place cannot... so after finding out that my mum was not coming home i said ok u can come over to my place lor ... and so ok they made thier way to my place ... soon they arrive i was about to shower so i call my bro to meet them and come my place ... and to my horror ... my bro told me thats not his friend ... that so call JOHN was his BOYFRIEND i was like WTH ... if i knew it was his bf i sure would not have allowed them to come ( at that moment i was alredy very pissed off cos he din tell me it is his bf and also boi boi say he is going to be straight after breaking up with TONY another aj)... so since they are here and there was no more train i let them come and i met them around my block ... and to my horror~~ the person who was claim to be JOHN was actually on my msn and he is a aj ! i kept looking at him and soon i manage to confirm he is SHAWN LEE who stays at JURONG WEST and so i ask again "whats his name ? " and u know what la boi boi ( not revealing his name) told me he is JOHN so ok i accepted that lie and kept quiet ... hinting again and again not to lie to me he refuse to listen and so it is ok ... when at my room i hinted them pls ok u can hug and kiss but no sex ... cos my brother(real life brother) would come into my room and use the toilet and so on sometimes and i told them no sex even my bro help me hinted them ... i mean pls la ok u are at someone house and it is not nice to have sex in others house and on others bed right? and u guess what they did ? they had sex in my bed i front of me and my bro ! i was like hinting them pls no sex and there they weill sucking each others tongue ? i mean WTF ! what if my bro comes in and so me and my bro gave a sarcastic stare to make them shy hoping they would stop and who know they continued ! i was pissed off by boi boi for telling me that SHAWN LEE was actually JOHN TAN ... i was like already so pissed and now have SEX ON MY BLOODY BED i was already so turn off by it ... i was like WTF what if my brother comes in ... and to my horror they were kissing and they were on top of each other ... (my door is lock most of the time and cos sometimes my brother(real life brother) comes into my room to use the toilet so he has the key) ... suddenly my bro(real life brother) wanted to use the toilet so he actually unlock my door and just dash in and that SHAWN just literally jump off boi boi ... i was like HOPING my bro(real life borther) din see it cos after opening my door he would actually put the key back into his room i was like WTF if my bro(real life brother) see and he told my mum ... i would be skined alife ... so amounting to all this they just stayed to kissing and hugging and soon they hug each other under my blanket ... before they covered ... they were in shirt after the blanket covered them from head to toe me and my bro could hear smooching and moaning ... i was like WTF ! soon they uncovered thier head ... they were both topless ...i was like so bloody pissed at that moment i just kept quiet and after wearing thier clothes back they continue !! and worst they could smooch till they were lieing on my bro's body !!! and i hinted them again by taking a packet of tipbits and sit there and munch on my tipbits hoping to really pissed them off and make them stop but they din ...finally when they say they go for smoking break in my toilet my bro went in too and they kissed in my toilet too !!! ... i was so pissed off at that moment i literally wanted to leave my room and go down stairs with out even telling my bro ... but i din wan to as it would be disrespect to my bro and so i just controlled and keep quieted and hoping it would faster reach 6 am ... soon it was 5am bro needed to go home so i said bro i pei u ... we went to the coffeeshop ... my bro knowing that i am extremely pissed he actually comfort me and he was also really pissed off ... i was like screaming and yelling WTF ... it is not right to have sex at others house ... WHAT TREAT ME HOUSE AS A HOTEL 81 OR PROTITUTION HOUSE ? FUCK ! i was like so bloody pissed off ... so i said nvm ... i told my bro later i am going to tell both of them off ... first telling me a lie that THAT ACT TO BE JOHN TAN SUPPOSINGLY to be another person and NOT A AJ ! SUPPOSEINGLY TO PLAY CARD BUT ENDING UP HAVING SEX IN MY ROOM ON MY BED ? ... so soon ... it was 6 am i met my bro and in front of him i told the both of them off ... JOHN TAN DONT THINK THAT I DUNNO U ARE SHAWN LEE OF JURONG WEST OK ? both were completely stunn and i was really pissed and fuming mad ... and i could see my friend boi boi was abit stunn and so i just walk and they follow me behind ... my bro just kept quiet ... and at the coffeeshop i kept my cool and keep quiet sip my coffee ... and i told them again and again never like to me ... i was so bloody pissed off hao ma and worst that stupid SHAWN LEE give me a look as if he was so bloody smart and he kept saying from the beginning i know u know who am i and so on ler i was so bloody pissed ... soon after i send them to the mrt ... and before boi boi left he wanted to give my bro and me a hug ... i was so pissed and i actually turn and left before he could hug my and he hug my bro ( sorry boi boi i know i was kinda rude but i was angry till the brim) ... he knowing that i was rather pissed off i just walk off ... soon my and my bro went to a coffeeshop and sit and i smsed boi boi ... this ... " i treat u as a friend and you treat me as a fool. i give you my trust and uplayed with it so dont expect me or darick to trust you in future tc and see a doc ( cos he was abit not feeling well)" and soon i got his sms replied "nvm le moo moo. u take care too. think today is my last daycan see u 2 liao. Nvm de la . i happy i gt memories wib u 2 . nvm nvm de . i dun blame u 2 . its boi boi fault . :( u take beri good care of urself le and derick . bubbyes " i was like so bloody pissed off cos when we were conversing at the coffeeshop his bf SHAWN LEE is so bloody arroagant ... so i told them am not going let this matter go so easily mean i will not forget it so easily and guess what HIS BF SHAWN LEE replied me this bloody sms and i blew my top this is what he smsed me "anyway shanw here ah.. u dun have to do anything de .. :) cause all along i dun intend to tell anyone i dun really noe le the fine with it la.. it doesn't harm me in anyway .. further more i duneven know u veri well so noe so much about me for ? onli now than i know abit bout u la.. :) " see how arrogant he is ? know he is in the wrong and still do this and all his sms from than on is like implying he is very high and almighty ?
SINCE MR SHAWN LEE U JUST KNOW ME ABIT RIGHT I WILL LET U KNOW MORE ABOUT ME ... I AM THE EASY GOING TYPE BUT IF U EVER LIE TO ME I WILL GIVE U CHACE TO REPENT BY HINTING U AGAIN AND AGAIN TO TELL ME THE TRUTH BUT GIVING U SO MANY HOURS TO TELL ME THE TRUTH U REFUSE I WILL LET U KNOW I KNOW THE TRUTH AND IF U TELL ME SORRY NICELY I WILL LET IT GO BUT NOW IT IS TOO LATE EVEN IF U SAY SORRY ... I KNOW SLIGHTLY MORE BOUT U OK SHAWN
NAME : SHAWN LEE
PROFILE NUMBER : 73830181
MSN : shawnylee@hotmail.com
ADDRESS : JURONG WEST BLOCK 4XX UNIT NUMBER 1X-9X
HP NUMBER : 9001 XXXX
AND SHAWN, YES BOI BOI DUNNO ANYTHING BUT I THINK U ARE EXPERIENCE ENOUGHT TO TELL HIM THAT IT IS NOT RIGHT TO HAVE SEX IN OTHERS HOUSE RIGHT ? SO DONT TELL ME HE DUNNO OK ? IT TAKES 2 HAND TO CLAP
dear reader after reading pls do tell me am i in the wrong or are they in the wrong ? sorry bout it but i am really so pissed off bout it there for i really wanna vent my anger ... anyway thanx for reading my blog pls do comment ^^ love u all muacks ^^love my dear and my mum ^^
hi all ... sorry i was kinda busy so i din update my bloggy hahaha ... anyway for the last 2 weeks i was feeling kinda down cos my cat died ... and the day before i got my cats ashes ... wow my cat so big and now she fit into a small little urn ... hiaz i miss her alot ... he naughtiness and also her cuteness ... i really wanna cuddle her to sleep sob sob ... but anyway at least she died with out suffering ... my poor little darling died and i felt so down and up ... haiz ....
oh well anyway for the past one week nothing interesting happen ... hahaha but today ... is the first day of hungry ghost festival ~~~ and soon it is going to be national day lol ... than there will be the stupid national day parade which will be filled with stupid thingy and it is going to take up the tv time slot ... oh well but it is nice hahaha but i pity those who are active in it cos they have to take the sun and the stress hahaha jia you ok u guys performing ^^ and after the celebration ... there will be the talk again by the pm ... u know who la he will talk alot of non sensible thingy sian and waste the time slot for better shows ... but anyway happy birthday singapore and thanx for nothing ya ^^ hahaha oh well that would be all for now hehe since now i am in a better mood i am going to update my bloggy more frequent hahaha ...
LOve my mummy and my dear ^^ and all my dear friends~~~~~ hehehe ^^
T-T todays is another painful day for me ... my cat who have been living with me for 15 year have just pass on ... my grandma , mum , bro , sis , and me are feeling very upset ... i am like totally feeling so upset ... earlier on i cubbled her as she breathes her last few breath before passing on ... before she passo n she vomited and look at me for the last time before she was gone from the waorld and gone to the far plane to meet my father and grand fathers ... i will really really miss her alot ... i will sure miss her gentle coat of fur and adorable face ... i feel so so so upset ... i cant believe she just pass on ... hoping she would live longer so she could have a more joyious life when time to come ... but who knows her life end today 22th July 2008 ... at 12. 15 pm 09 secs ... i could see that my grandma was really hoping she was alife cos when i went to answer a phone call ... she actually go and touch her and called out her names hoping she would meow for her the last time ... but my cat din ... as i see my grandma walking towards the kitchen will a sarrowful face ... i was kinda upset too but having to control myself from not crying afraid that she would cry too i held on and dare not cry afraid she would also cry ... i really cannot believe that my healthy little fat cat would die so soon ... i witness her last moments of living ... as she struggles to draw every of her single breath ... and soon she started to stiffen up and vomited and just stop breathing ... and it was the last time she drew her breath and look me in the eyes ... i am like why must she die so early ... why i just cant believe it ... hiaz .... guess today is a bad day for me ... hiazz ... now i am totally out of mood for everything ... from eating to sleeping to watch tv ... i feel totally very very down ... but thanx to my baba who tried to comfort me and cheer me up thanx ... love u mummy and dear ... and all my friends ... and thanx to the staffs of Paradise Pet Shop located at 232 Whitley Rd Mt Pleasant Animal Hospital Singapore 297824 for sponsoring the other half of my cats cremation when we are having some financial difficulties and also alice who was kind enought to console me even thought i am just someone over the phone who is feeling really down thanx alot alice ... thanx alot for the sponsorship ... and if i were much more well to do i will sure repay for u good deeds ... thanx a million ... when i am free i will sure take a trip down to thank the people there and also buy alice lunch ... thanx ...
today i was kinda having runny nose so i cant sleep so i started to surf the net and i came across this article ... of Lawrence King a young boy aged 15 who was bold enought to admit that he is a homosexual and soon he was bullied , teased , pinpointed , being outcast and at the end was shot to death ... oh well the article is kinda long but after reading it ... i kinda pity him ... the article's which appeared on NewWeek titled "Young, Gay and Murdered" ... if u are curious bout the storey heres the link >>> http://www.newsweek.com/id/147790/page/1 (hope the article will never be removed)
oh well after reading the really really long article ... ther were alot of interesting facts that were stated in the article like ... "One study found that the average age when kids self-identify as gay has tumbled to 13.4" haha i found it quite true hahaha but any way ... i believe all of us wanna be like lawrence who dareingly tell people that "i am a gay" but cos we are in a homophobic society majority of us would rather keep it a secret amoung our group unless people finds out bout it ... but at least we are asured that what happen to lawrance will not happen to us ... but still having the entire society looking down at us once they know we are a homosexual it is kinda hard ... i cant imagine how lawrence felt when the entire schools even teacher who are suppose to help us students even outcast lawrence and also treated him in a bias way ... hiaz .... i wonder what would have happen to me if i were to be in lawrence shoes ... but lets hope that lawrence wil be give justice ...
oh well enought bout that and moving over to myself haha ... today was a rainy day and as u know when someone have flu they will hate the rainy weathers .... cos it will be cold and also when u go out ur feets will be wet and when u go to a shopping center with wet feet u will feel that u are walking on ice hahaha ... but anyway today i GOT MY CONTACT LENS hahaha ... i tried it on and wow !!! i could see things more clearly hehehe but sad to say first time i wear i can only wear for 4 hours but who knows i manage to wear only for 2 hours cos it kept moving and moving and i adjusted it back so frequently that it felt painful so i took it out haha ... oh well anyway later i will try putting it on again hehee and this time round i hope it will not be painful ... hehehe cos today i have to go to the bank to settle my school loan stuffs hahaha ... oh well ... i actually am very scare of something but i have to go for it this coming friday unless i am sick again and i see a dictor .. and guess what is it ? ... ns check up ... everything is fine but i am afraid of the blood test part cos i am afraid of needles T-T and also i will faint if i see blood being drawn from me sob sob ... so hopefulyl i am still having flu so i need not to go otherwise i would cry or end up in hospital if i faint ... but on well ... i have decided to reenroll myself in the poly again after withdrawing from my ex poly ... i am hoping for a near poly to my house hehehe ^^ anyway i am hoping to complete my studies before going into ns ...
after talking bout my fear ... i felt more nervous cos the last time when i took blood test in school i kinda almost faint if not for my friends who supported me i would have fainted ... but is there really a need for a blood test ? i am just wondering ... and why must we be force to go ns ? cant it be a option for us ? why must it be compulsary for guys to go ns ? how bout girls ? is it cos we guys have a dick and girls have pussy thats why we have to go ns ? or just cos they make babies to add on to the population of the nation thats is thier national service ? O.O i just wonder ... why cant we guys opp to go for ns or not to go for ns ... i just cant understand ... and furthermore i think ns is a waste of our time and youth ... why cant we decide weather to enlist ourself or to go work ? and i am just wondering ... i only have a mother left ... and my 2 brothers are like CANNOT MAKE IT and if i go ns ... who will look after my mum ? she will be totally alone right ? and further more the standart of living in singapore is like shooting higher and higher and my mum is drawing a salary which she may not be able to eat sometimes and hello ?!?!?!? she is 54 this year and i wanna spent more time with her ... she look after me since young why cant i stay with her ... look after her ... accompany her ? why ? and why should i be force to go for ns ? why ? i think even after alot of people go enquire bout the ns thingy the government just keep quiet and never say anything and from time to time they keep having those national servise advertisement and so on why ? for what waste money since u ALREADY pridicted for us to go in ler so why bother telling us the meaning and so on ? we have to repay the nation ?!?!?! my goodness i think the person we have to repay is our parents hao ma ... i just wonder those 2 guys who died in national service ... why must they day ? and what if they are the only son ? judt think how thier parents felt ? i dont wanna let my mum be sad again after losing her other half u know ... i dont wanna be dead and cant look after her ... and seriously one day i will try a wayy to tell her that i am a bisexual and i will intro her to my bf if i have one that is ... and we stay together as a family ... hiaz ...
I REALLY HOPE THE NS THINGY WOULD BE MADE OPTIONAL ... just cos our population is small it dont mean that we have to be forced to do something that we dont like to do ... it is like totally unfair for us guys ... hiazz but anyway i totally feel very upset bout it and i just wanna end my life ... why people from other country can have a colourful life from the day they were born till the day they die and why we singaporeans cant have that ? it is like standardise for us guys ... after study ns ... ns ... ns ... i rather spend the 2 years working studing and looking after my mum instead of going to ns ... IT IS A TOTAL WASTE PF TIME ! it is like totally unfair ... =(
OH WELL MY DAY HAVE BEEN RUIN ... guess i will go to bed and hope when i wake up i feel better and my runny nose is gone ... leave ur comments if u have any ... LOVE MY MUMMY ANDMY DEAR and also all my friend~~~~ OYASUMI NAHSAI ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ T3T
hi to all reader of my bloggy hahaha today i am having flu and i din wanna update my bloggy but since i cant sleep so might as well update it ... as i am typing my lastest posting ... i am wipeing my nose cos it is leaking ... hiaz ... i hate it when i have flu ... feel so sleepy and yet cant sleep ...
anyway ... when it was friday ... i thought it would be a long and nice weekend ... but who knows ... it pasted so fast ... oh well from friday till sunday ... all i did was wake up watch tv meet my bro nad go and stroll the pasa malum haha and when i thought that the pasa malum was ending there will be going to be another chain of stall hich is going to open under my block i am like OMG hahaha the pasa malum opposite the mrt station is ending on the 26 July which is next week hahaha ... oh well everyday i am only craving for the TAKOYAKI !!! hahaha i like it the most and it is like yummy yummy hahaha ... i have been like eating takoyaki for the pass 2 weeks hahah but i still like it alot ... hehehe and guess what i really hope there will be takoyakii when the pasa malum near my blocks open ^^
anyway ... one of my friend just got attach so oh well Congratulations to u for getting attach and i hope u and ur dear will be a happy couple hehehe ... now back to myself ... my bro and my dear told me to try contact lens and i am like OMG i dont dare haha but guess what ... i went for a eye check and my contact lens have arrive today ... hahaha so wish me good luck later when i go try it on haha i hope it is not painful when i put it on ... moooooo ... and after contact lens ... it will be a hair cut for me hahaha (BABA WHEN U GOING TO BRING ME GO CUT HAIR LIKE U PROMISE DE) kekeke oh well ... i dunno what will happen to my hair but i really hope that my hair would turn out to be scary to me hahaha .... i kinda like my curreny hair style but i think it need trimming if not my eyes will get infections and also my face will have alot of volcanic eruption *u know what i mean* haha ... oh well i am will to try all this since my baba wanted me to so oh well BABA FOR UR SEEK ... i will try ok hahaha but pls dont call me wear bright colour t-shirt and BRIGHT COLOUR SKINNYs i will die in front of u if u call me wear those hahaha ... hiaz ... my runny nose is kinda bad ... just sunday only and i have use almost 1 roll or toilet paper ... hiazz how bad is it going to be ... oh well it is going to rain so i guess i wanna go sleep ler hehe kinda cold even thought i on the fan and din on the air con ... and my mum is not home so i will just stick to the fan and the thick thick blanket hehehe ... thanx to all who have read my blog though it is less than a month old but it have been visited 500 times and counting ^^ MUACKS hehehe ... OH WELL ... GOOD NIGHT ALL ^W^ LOVE MY DEAR AND MY MUMMY MUACKS~~~~
hahaha today was a long day lol ^^ it was kinda of a boring day haha and guess what a close pal of mine met me and we have a drink together and strolled the gombak area hehehe thought there was a pasa malum( dunno how to spell) ... so we walk the gpmbak area and soon i had to send him to the mrt cos he had many projects and report to do ... so sad hope could be with him longer so can chat with him more hahaha ...
but anyway meeting him was a happy thing but now coms to my bro darrick but some how he was troubled haizz ... it seems that someone he trusted alot had told him many many lies hahaha so oh well i cant blame him for being so troubled but at least he trust me alot and tell me his problems hahah oh well i actually do tell him my troubles too hahaha kinda fun when both of us together we can crap and could even say all sorts of things together hahaha anyway hehehe talking bout this i was so happy last night hehehe ^^ i manage to see my dear again hehe i met him together with darrick and my other bro ZJ hahaha (short form hehehe wanna know his true name ? ask him urself i call him jie jie) hahaha anyway my dear brought me for dinner and after that we all strolled the pasa malum and he bought many many food for me to eat and he bought durian hahaha but i wanted to bite my dear cos he actually eyed on other guys roar hahaha but anyway hehe i forgive him ler hehe but i enjoyed alot last night as my bros and my dear plus me gather and linger together hahaha
OH well anyway later my bro will be having his test ~~~ so gooood luck hahaha cannot fail argh cos u say very easy but at least 95 % pass other wise i skin u hahaha ^^
YAY anyway i was kinda suprise my bloggy have hit 400 reader hehe thanx alot ^^ I hope that some of my posting actually are similar to what u are in now and so u at least know that i am having the same problem as u hehehe well when u online u can chat to me about it too haha will be delighted tooo ^^ so cheers~~
anyway i heard this song from a friends friendster and so i added on my bloggy i find it kinda nice so i hope you readers would enjoy the songs ^^
guess thats all for tonight so good night to all and sweet dreams ^^ *yawns ~~~* time for me to shower relax abit and go to bed hahaha so CHEERS ~*thought i am no drinker* hehehe love all my friends ^^ especially my dear and MUM ~
hahaha oh well by the look of the title of this posting u should have guess what i am thinking hahaha but anyway today i made a new friend and he is kinda confused i guess hahaha hi to my dear friend hehehe *dont worry i will keep u in my mind and not tell others who are you*anyway i was thinking of the same thing and i met him tooo and we chat bout the same thing and so ya i thought might as well post it on my bloggy and see if how many of u agrees with my definition of bisexual and gay ?Bisexual > have a like for the opposite sex and also the same sex ... *LOL ... i feel that the bisexual definition is kinda ironic though hahaha ... whats the different between a half gay and a full fledge gay =x*Pure Gay > like only thier own sex in another word homosexual ?LOL ... any way i hope people who read this posting will help me on weather my definition is correct hahaha ....anyway my new friend ^^ whose name start with a letter "v" ... i know u are confuse with weather u are a gay or a bi or a straight who is curious ... but not to worry ... as time past u will really know what u prefer to be and attach to who as in to a male or a female hehehe ... oh well ... if u are wondering how i found out that i am a gay hehehe ... heres my personal experience ...When i was in primary school ... i tend to look at guys ... and i dislike gals ... and so most of the time i would be a loner and always minding my own bussiness , looking at cute guys around my age or even my senior hehehe ... but cos alot of my classmates hated gays so i din dare to tell people that i like guys and also at that point in time i was still young and so i alway think that i am just envy guys with good looks ... but still sometimes i would be attraqcted to cute looking gals ...When i was in secondary school ... i am still the same ... looking around at guys and so on but this time round ... i started to fantasize on hugging on this particular guy in my class cos h is like so handsome and fit hehe and i am like always seeking a chance to peek at him naked ... but also there is always one fact that is around .. and this fact is that my classmates hates gays too ... and peeping at guys would be a very very gayish thingy and also let my classmate feel that i am a gay ... and still the same ... i dont believe that i am a gay ... and i continue to tell myself that i am not a gay and i still like gals ... but somehow when in secondary school i hated gals alot cos of the way they act and do thing cum the fact that they always like to whine and bitch around hehehe...but also i know the fact that when u let people know u are a gay ... tyhey will start to boycot u and also start pinpointing u ... giving u nick names ...When i am in poly ... i am still the same ... the quiet guy ... who like to be quiet and do my things and help my friends when they are in trouble ... for the first few weeks of the semester of my first year i hang out with the gals and the guys ofg my class started to few abit wield and so i tried to mixc up with the guys and soon i click with them ... and than again ... i fell in love with this cute little guy in my class hehehe ... i would always see him from a distance and alway hope to be with him alone and hug him ... but still i was afraid about letting people know that i a guy who likes guys which is adnormal ... and so i control and in my mind i always fantansize hugging him and having sex with him *eeks that time more mature hehehe so thing y y* but at that moment in time i thought very deeply and i told my self that i must never let people know that i like guys and dislike gals as i am afraid my classmates will boycot me ... and so i kept to myself ... soon one fine day my friends (the guys) commented that i dont look at gals at the moment in time i was so stun and i din know how to answer them ... but some how i manage to avoid to answer ... and till today i think they dunno that i like guys ... as time passes this question keep popping out of my head ... and i told myself that it is time where i should accept that i am a bisexual or a gay ...haiz ... but thoughts after thoughts ... i could not believe i actually turn into a bisexual and finally and reluntantly i accepted that i am a bisexual ... and soon ... this question pop out in my mind ... " whats the freaking hell difference from a Bisexual and a Gay ???" ... hahaha and atthat very moment i am like so bloody confused and soon i came out with the definition of bisexual and gay haha but at the end ... the both definition still means that i am a gay .. and so finally i accepted that i am a gay ... and the day i accepted it was the day i created this blog ... 28th June 2008 ... thought i have break throught the ice barrier for admitting i am a gay ... but there is more ice barrier to be broken ... like what to do when any of my friends find out that i am a gay ? ... what if my mum finds out ? ... and many other possiblities ... hiaz ... oh well since i have chose this path i guess i have to be strong and strive along it ...BUT HOPEFULLY ... NON OF MY FRIENDS, FAMILY MEMBER OR RELATIVE WILL EVER FIND OUT THE TRUTH THAT I AM A GAY ... AND AGAIN I WANNA APOLOGIZE TO MY MUM ... THAT I AM A DISGRACE TO U AND DAD ... AND I AM VERY SORRY ... BUT I REALLY DONT HAVE FEELINGS FOR GALS AT ALL AND I LIKE GUYS ONLY ... SORRY MUMMY ... I DONT MEAN TO KEEP IT FROM U BUT I REALLY DONT DARE TO TELL U COS U WILL BE EXTREME UPSET BOUT IT ... SO SORRY ...HIAZ SUDDENLY FELT LIKE CRYING DUNNO WHY ... GUESS I CONFESS TOO MUCH ... BUT OH WELL I DIN SLEEP THE WHOLE NIGHT AND I AM MEETING MY DEAR LATER HEHE SO I GUESS I WILL WAIT FOR HIM TO COME AND CHEER ME UP ...THANX FOR READING MY BLOG AND I HOPE U GUYS WHO READ COULD LEAVE SOME COMMENT IN THE SHOUT BOX ^^ LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS ESPICIALLY MY DEAR AND MY LOVELY MUMMY ^^ MUACKS
