hahaha oh well by the look of the title of this posting u should have guess what i am thinking hahaha but anyway today i made a new friend and he is kinda confused i guess hahaha hi to my dear friend hehehe *dont worry i will keep u in my mind and not tell others who are you*
anyway i was thinking of the same thing and i met him tooo and we chat bout the same thing and so ya i thought might as well post it on my bloggy and see if how many of u agrees with my definition of bisexual and gay ?
Bisexual > have a like for the opposite sex and also the same sex ...
*LOL ... i feel that the bisexual definition is kinda ironic though hahaha ... whats the different between a half gay and a full fledge gay =x*
Pure Gay > like only thier own sex in another word homosexual ?
LOL ... any way i hope people who read this posting will help me on weather my definition is correct hahaha ....
anyway my new friend ^^ whose name start with a letter "v" ... i know u are confuse with weather u are a gay or a bi or a straight who is curious ... but not to worry ... as time past u will really know what u prefer to be and attach to who as in to a male or a female hehehe ... oh well ... if u are wondering how i found out that i am a gay hehehe ... heres my personal experience ...
When i was in primary school ... i tend to look at guys ... and i dislike gals ... and so most of the time i would be a loner and always minding my own bussiness , looking at cute guys around my age or even my senior hehehe ... but cos alot of my classmates hated gays so i din dare to tell people that i like guys and also at that point in time i was still young and so i alway think that i am just envy guys with good looks ... but still sometimes i would be attraqcted to cute looking gals ...
When i was in secondary school ... i am still the same ... looking around at guys and so on but this time round ... i started to fantasize on hugging on this particular guy in my class cos h is like so handsome and fit hehe and i am like always seeking a chance to peek at him naked ... but also there is always one fact that is around .. and this fact is that my classmates hates gays too ... and peeping at guys would be a very very gayish thingy and also let my classmate feel that i am a gay ... and still the same ... i dont believe that i am a gay ... and i continue to tell myself that i am not a gay and i still like gals ... but somehow when in secondary school i hated gals alot cos of the way they act and do thing cum the fact that they always like to whine and bitch around hehehe...
but also i know the fact that when u let people know u are a gay ... tyhey will start to boycot u and also start pinpointing u ... giving u nick names ...
When i am in poly ... i am still the same ... the quiet guy ... who like to be quiet and do my things and help my friends when they are in trouble ... for the first few weeks of the semester of my first year i hang out with the gals and the guys ofg my class started to few abit wield and so i tried to mixc up with the guys and soon i click with them ... and than again ... i fell in love with this cute little guy in my class hehehe ... i would always see him from a distance and alway hope to be with him alone and hug him ... but still i was afraid about letting people know that i a guy who likes guys which is adnormal ... and so i control and in my mind i always fantansize hugging him and having sex with him *eeks that time more mature hehehe so thing y y* but at that moment in time i thought very deeply and i told my self that i must never let people know that i like guys and dislike gals as i am afraid my classmates will boycot me ... and so i kept to myself ... soon one fine day my friends (the guys) commented that i dont look at gals at the moment in time i was so stun and i din know how to answer them ... but some how i manage to avoid to answer ... and till today i think they dunno that i like guys ... as time passes this question keep popping out of my head ... and i told myself that it is time where i should accept that i am a bisexual or a gay ...
haiz ... but thoughts after thoughts ... i could not believe i actually turn into a bisexual and finally and reluntantly i accepted that i am a bisexual ... and soon ... this question pop out in my mind ... " whats the freaking hell difference from a Bisexual and a Gay ???" ... hahaha and atthat very moment i am like so bloody confused and soon i came out with the definition of bisexual and gay haha but at the end ... the both definition still means that i am a gay .. and so finally i accepted that i am a gay ... and the day i accepted it was the day i created this blog ... 28th June 2008 ... thought i have break throught the ice barrier for admitting i am a gay ... but there is more ice barrier to be broken ... like what to do when any of my friends find out that i am a gay ? ... what if my mum finds out ? ... and many other possiblities ... hiaz ... oh well since i have chose this path i guess i have to be strong and strive along it ...
BUT HOPEFULLY ... NON OF MY FRIENDS, FAMILY MEMBER OR RELATIVE WILL EVER FIND OUT THE TRUTH THAT I AM A GAY ... AND AGAIN I WANNA APOLOGIZE TO MY MUM ... THAT I AM A DISGRACE TO U AND DAD ... AND I AM VERY SORRY ... BUT I REALLY DONT HAVE FEELINGS FOR GALS AT ALL AND I LIKE GUYS ONLY ... SORRY MUMMY ... I DONT MEAN TO KEEP IT FROM U BUT I REALLY DONT DARE TO TELL U COS U WILL BE EXTREME UPSET BOUT IT ... SO SORRY ...
HIAZ SUDDENLY FELT LIKE CRYING DUNNO WHY ... GUESS I CONFESS TOO MUCH ... BUT OH WELL I DIN SLEEP THE WHOLE NIGHT AND I AM MEETING MY DEAR LATER HEHE SO I GUESS I WILL WAIT FOR HIM TO COME AND CHEER ME UP ...
THANX FOR READING MY BLOG AND I HOPE U GUYS WHO READ COULD LEAVE SOME COMMENT IN THE SHOUT BOX ^^ LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS ESPICIALLY MY DEAR AND MY LOVELY MUMMY ^^ MUACKS
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