today i was kinda having runny nose so i cant sleep so i started to surf the net and i came across this article ... of Lawrence King a young boy aged 15 who was bold enought to admit that he is a homosexual and soon he was bullied , teased , pinpointed , being outcast and at the end was shot to death ... oh well the article is kinda long but after reading it ... i kinda pity him ... the article's which appeared on NewWeek titled "Young, Gay and Murdered" ... if u are curious bout the storey heres the link >>> http://www.newsweek.com/id/147790/page/1 (hope the article will never be removed)
oh well after reading the really really long article ... ther were alot of interesting facts that were stated in the article like ... "One study found that the average age when kids self-identify as gay has tumbled to 13.4" haha i found it quite true hahaha but any way ... i believe all of us wanna be like lawrence who dareingly tell people that "i am a gay" but cos we are in a homophobic society majority of us would rather keep it a secret amoung our group unless people finds out bout it ... but at least we are asured that what happen to lawrance will not happen to us ... but still having the entire society looking down at us once they know we are a homosexual it is kinda hard ... i cant imagine how lawrence felt when the entire schools even teacher who are suppose to help us students even outcast lawrence and also treated him in a bias way ... hiaz .... i wonder what would have happen to me if i were to be in lawrence shoes ... but lets hope that lawrence wil be give justice ...
oh well enought bout that and moving over to myself haha ... today was a rainy day and as u know when someone have flu they will hate the rainy weathers .... cos it will be cold and also when u go out ur feets will be wet and when u go to a shopping center with wet feet u will feel that u are walking on ice hahaha ... but anyway today i GOT MY CONTACT LENS hahaha ... i tried it on and wow !!! i could see things more clearly hehehe but sad to say first time i wear i can only wear for 4 hours but who knows i manage to wear only for 2 hours cos it kept moving and moving and i adjusted it back so frequently that it felt painful so i took it out haha ... oh well anyway later i will try putting it on again hehee and this time round i hope it will not be painful ... hehehe cos today i have to go to the bank to settle my school loan stuffs hahaha ... oh well ... i actually am very scare of something but i have to go for it this coming friday unless i am sick again and i see a dictor .. and guess what is it ? ... ns check up ... everything is fine but i am afraid of the blood test part cos i am afraid of needles T-T and also i will faint if i see blood being drawn from me sob sob ... so hopefulyl i am still having flu so i need not to go otherwise i would cry or end up in hospital if i faint ... but on well ... i have decided to reenroll myself in the poly again after withdrawing from my ex poly ... i am hoping for a near poly to my house hehehe ^^ anyway i am hoping to complete my studies before going into ns ...
after talking bout my fear ... i felt more nervous cos the last time when i took blood test in school i kinda almost faint if not for my friends who supported me i would have fainted ... but is there really a need for a blood test ? i am just wondering ... and why must we be force to go ns ? cant it be a option for us ? why must it be compulsary for guys to go ns ? how bout girls ? is it cos we guys have a dick and girls have pussy thats why we have to go ns ? or just cos they make babies to add on to the population of the nation thats is thier national service ? O.O i just wonder ... why cant we guys opp to go for ns or not to go for ns ... i just cant understand ... and furthermore i think ns is a waste of our time and youth ... why cant we decide weather to enlist ourself or to go work ? and i am just wondering ... i only have a mother left ... and my 2 brothers are like CANNOT MAKE IT and if i go ns ... who will look after my mum ? she will be totally alone right ? and further more the standart of living in singapore is like shooting higher and higher and my mum is drawing a salary which she may not be able to eat sometimes and hello ?!?!?!? she is 54 this year and i wanna spent more time with her ... she look after me since young why cant i stay with her ... look after her ... accompany her ? why ? and why should i be force to go for ns ? why ? i think even after alot of people go enquire bout the ns thingy the government just keep quiet and never say anything and from time to time they keep having those national servise advertisement and so on why ? for what waste money since u ALREADY pridicted for us to go in ler so why bother telling us the meaning and so on ? we have to repay the nation ?!?!?! my goodness i think the person we have to repay is our parents hao ma ... i just wonder those 2 guys who died in national service ... why must they day ? and what if they are the only son ? judt think how thier parents felt ? i dont wanna let my mum be sad again after losing her other half u know ... i dont wanna be dead and cant look after her ... and seriously one day i will try a wayy to tell her that i am a bisexual and i will intro her to my bf if i have one that is ... and we stay together as a family ... hiaz ...
I REALLY HOPE THE NS THINGY WOULD BE MADE OPTIONAL ... just cos our population is small it dont mean that we have to be forced to do something that we dont like to do ... it is like totally unfair for us guys ... hiazz but anyway i totally feel very upset bout it and i just wanna end my life ... why people from other country can have a colourful life from the day they were born till the day they die and why we singaporeans cant have that ? it is like standardise for us guys ... after study ns ... ns ... ns ... i rather spend the 2 years working studing and looking after my mum instead of going to ns ... IT IS A TOTAL WASTE PF TIME ! it is like totally unfair ... =(
OH WELL MY DAY HAVE BEEN RUIN ... guess i will go to bed and hope when i wake up i feel better and my runny nose is gone ... leave ur comments if u have any ... LOVE MY MUMMY ANDMY DEAR and also all my friend~~~~ OYASUMI NAHSAI ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ T3T
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