Like have been as bored as ever. Time have passed and i have serve 2 months plus of ns ... It sux to a certain extend but i have gave some really nice Boss and upper studies ^^
But since time have passed i notice i have quite a comfortable life and i really like to continue to work with my current bosses and upper studies haha.
Anyway, this monday, LOL i was being send home cos i had a fever of 37.7 lol .. i was send to the medical center and they screen my temperature lol it was 38.2 LOL and i was send home with a 1 week MC haha !!!!!!! funny huh ? but i guess it is to prevent the soread if H1N1 if u have it LOL .. but sad to say i dont have IT hahaha !!! i have fever but no flu so i cant be having it unless u tell me it is possible that i dont have Flu and still can get the SWINE FLU than why is it called as a stupid flu siak !
But anyway i am now trying to count down to my ord LOL which is 1 year and 10 months more LOL still a long way more to go LOL.
Hiaz i am really bored and i dunno what to talk about T^T
anyway yesterday i quarreled with someone regarding the importance of looks. Is it really that important or till a certain extend ? or rather the personalities of one is more important ?
We had a long arguement regarding this matter. But my stand is still, Looks is not the most important thing in this world. Becos no matter how good looking are u but u have a lousy personality no one will still like you. It is as good as a extremely nice vase that can even be use to hold flowers for display. Or rather when u go for a interview, with just ur looks the "boss" will hire u just becos of u looks or ur qualifications and ur experience ?
but oh well i hope u guys who read my blog will comment about it ^^ thanx so pls do leave comments on the shout box ^^ muacks love u guys and i love u mummy !!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Sad, Unhappiness, Moodless. Tried failed and now doubt ... whats next ? Ill treatment ?
Hiaz, i was actually kinda upset today by what had happen in camp. First, i was ill for a period of time and totally was weak and sick. Thanx to my close friend, when ever i needed him, he will accompany me to the polyclinic to see a doctor and if i am alone and really cant travel i will go to the nearest private clinic to see a doctor. But to my horror, my camp thinks that i am "faking to be ill". I was like omg and so on. But so be it . At the end i really got tired of things and when my last visit to the polyclinic i ask the doctor to prescribe me with Anti Biotics since my flu was like more than 2 weeks and it has cause me unable to sleep. So finally, the following monday i was so so much better though the Flu like symtoms was there i still "forced" myself out of bed and headed to my camp.
Once when i was back in camp i saw my officers and majority of them was kinda nice. I literally felled in loved with my officers and i thought it is ok i will try my best. And try my very best at what ever task i am given. But to my horror. This was what they told me. " From today onwards u are only allowed to report sick at Tuas or Changi otherwise Only Government Structured Hospitals"> Come on man i am staying at bukit Gombak ... the nearest hospital is like 30 mins ride aways from my house ... Isnt that abit too much ? I told myself nvm ... One of my officers is so nice that he now offered to give me a ride to work everyday. I was so happy and all of my officers are nice except for a few, the few is like really few, i was so touched by my few caring officers that even thought this 2 weeks i have force myself to report to work even when i am feeling unwell . But in office i just tried to put on a smile and also acted cheerful as though nothing was happening. I tried my best to tolerate any discomfort, even when there was a few occation when i was feeling very dizzy that i almost fainted i still kept quiet and work with what ever task i was given. I still kept quiet.
But today, i have tolerated more than enough. Even after they give me some very UNREASONABLE guide lines to follow AND i just followed it and kept quiet. The UNREASONABLE guide line was to report sick at only SAF medical center which was located at Tuas or Changi otherwise only Government Stuctured Hospital. Iwas fine with it i give and take. But to my horror, today they said this to me.
" Since u have not been back to the office for a period of time, it is only fair that u be the duty clerk. (i was still fine about it) The task of a duty clerk was to open the office by 8am ,man the office during lunch, draw news papers and open mail box. I was still ok. ( Since i am able to reach the office by 8 am if my officers gave me a ride). but there was a few problems :
1 ) i can never reach the office by 8 am if i were to travel on my own sdince the entire ride from my home to my work place is like more than 2 hours ride.But i told my Chief Clerk that i may not be able to reach the office by 8 if i were to travel by myself by mrt. So i told her if that was the case i can only reach at about 830 am or slightly later she said ok.
2 ) Next was manning the office, Well this part i was ok with it thought since manning of he office was nothing much. All i have to do was to look after the office when my officers was having lunch.So i was still pretty fince with it.
3 ) The other problem i was really quite angry was, when they told me this, they said that i have another option, which was if i was playing PUNK , and i just admit that i was playing PUNK. All those unreasonable guide lines and so call PRIVILEGE will be reinstated and i will have to go though what ever punishment needed. AND I WAS LIKE !@#$%^&* WTH PEOPLE IS LIKE SUFFERING ALL THE WAY AT HOME AND U THINK I AM JUST PLAYING PUNK ?!?!?!??!?
> do u think this was fair to me ?
4 ) the was the last and the final problem that also really pissed me off was that " I HAVE TO DO ALL THIS EXTRA DUTIES TILL ALL THE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IS COMPLETED AND HAVE COME TO A END" meaning ? if the investigation goes on for 1 year i do 1 year extra duties ?
> So at the end they mean is to literally make me suffer, giving my stress which i am already very very stressed and also treatening me to say that if i wanna stop all this UNFAIR TREATMENT I MUST ACTUALLY ADMIT ???? WHEN I DID NOY EVEN LIKE FAKE ?
After all this happened, it was a nice day for me but after lunch, when all this was told to me. My day was totally spoiled, destroyed and ruined. I was totally moody all the way. I controlled my emotion. I almost cired at my upper studies cubicle. But i din i endured all of it till i reached home. I cried for literally 2 hours. I tried my best and this is how i get treated. I EVEN LITERALLY ENDURED WHAT EVER DISCOMFORT JUST TO GO BACK TO CAMP COS I REALLY LOVED MY NEW UNIT.
WHY JUST NORMAL HEALTHY PEOPLE CANT UNDERSTAND US PEOPLE WHO ARE WEAKER IN OUR HEALTH ? JUST BECOS WE KEEP GETTING SICK THAN U JUST TREAT US AS SOME PUNKSTER OR FAKER ? HOW THEY WAN US TO PROOF TO THEM ? LET THEM INVESTIGATE ? THAN AFTER THAT WHEN WE ARE REALLY SICK I NEED TO TRAVEL BACK TO CHANGI REPORT SICK, BUT SOME HOW DURING HALF WAY OF THE TRIP TO CHANGI I KICKED THE BUCKET ??
I am like OMG all the way u know ? I know it is by law for us Singaporean guys to serve National Service. But we are human also u know ? We are born in Singapore as human being NOT SLAVE and further more i dont think i owe ANYONE ANTHING ONLY THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE TROUBLE TO TEACH CARE AND LOVE ME, ENDURED THE PAIN AND LOSE LOTS OF BLOOD TO BORN ME and that person is no one but my mum. What is there for me to repay to the country ? They are not even helping us in anything. Thye just implement the structures and used our money to start the thing moving thats all. I am fine with NS but come on at least treat us like some HUMAN not dog or animal. But what ever it is. I am just gonna keep cool and keep quiet. BUT I REALLY DONT FEEL LIKE CONTINUING ... I JUST REALLY HOPE NOW TO BE WITH MY FATHER ... BUT I ALSO CANT BEAR TO LEAVE MY MOTHER .... I AM SERIOUSLY TIRED .... AND UPSET ... AND THE QUESTION THAT IS STILL LINGRING IN MY HEAD NOW ... IS IT JUST BECOS IT IS A WHAT EVER POLICY AND MAKING IT A COMPULSORY ISSUE AND THEY CAN JUST IMPLY AS AND WHAT THEY LIKE COS THEY ARE WHO THEY ARE ? EVEN WHEN IT IS UNREASONABLE ? FURTHER MORE WITH THE H1N1 THING. IMAGINE IF I AM H1 N1 POSITIVE AND I AM STILL DO NOT KNOW AND I TRAVEL ALL THE WAY TILL I REACH CHANGI THAN I KNOW I AM POSITIVE WITH IT. HOW MANY PERSON AM I GOING TO GET INVOLVED ? THOUSANDS ?
AM I THE ONLY ONE OR ARE THERE PEOPLE WITH THE SAME PROBLEM OUT THERE ? BUT BEING SILENCED ??
Once when i was back in camp i saw my officers and majority of them was kinda nice. I literally felled in loved with my officers and i thought it is ok i will try my best. And try my very best at what ever task i am given. But to my horror. This was what they told me. " From today onwards u are only allowed to report sick at Tuas or Changi otherwise Only Government Structured Hospitals"> Come on man i am staying at bukit Gombak ... the nearest hospital is like 30 mins ride aways from my house ... Isnt that abit too much ? I told myself nvm ... One of my officers is so nice that he now offered to give me a ride to work everyday. I was so happy and all of my officers are nice except for a few, the few is like really few, i was so touched by my few caring officers that even thought this 2 weeks i have force myself to report to work even when i am feeling unwell . But in office i just tried to put on a smile and also acted cheerful as though nothing was happening. I tried my best to tolerate any discomfort, even when there was a few occation when i was feeling very dizzy that i almost fainted i still kept quiet and work with what ever task i was given. I still kept quiet.
But today, i have tolerated more than enough. Even after they give me some very UNREASONABLE guide lines to follow AND i just followed it and kept quiet. The UNREASONABLE guide line was to report sick at only SAF medical center which was located at Tuas or Changi otherwise only Government Stuctured Hospital. Iwas fine with it i give and take. But to my horror, today they said this to me.
" Since u have not been back to the office for a period of time, it is only fair that u be the duty clerk. (i was still fine about it) The task of a duty clerk was to open the office by 8am ,man the office during lunch, draw news papers and open mail box. I was still ok. ( Since i am able to reach the office by 8 am if my officers gave me a ride). but there was a few problems :
1 ) i can never reach the office by 8 am if i were to travel on my own sdince the entire ride from my home to my work place is like more than 2 hours ride.But i told my Chief Clerk that i may not be able to reach the office by 8 if i were to travel by myself by mrt. So i told her if that was the case i can only reach at about 830 am or slightly later she said ok.
2 ) Next was manning the office, Well this part i was ok with it thought since manning of he office was nothing much. All i have to do was to look after the office when my officers was having lunch.So i was still pretty fince with it.
3 ) The other problem i was really quite angry was, when they told me this, they said that i have another option, which was if i was playing PUNK , and i just admit that i was playing PUNK. All those unreasonable guide lines and so call PRIVILEGE will be reinstated and i will have to go though what ever punishment needed. AND I WAS LIKE !@#$%^&* WTH PEOPLE IS LIKE SUFFERING ALL THE WAY AT HOME AND U THINK I AM JUST PLAYING PUNK ?!?!?!??!?
> do u think this was fair to me ?
4 ) the was the last and the final problem that also really pissed me off was that " I HAVE TO DO ALL THIS EXTRA DUTIES TILL ALL THE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IS COMPLETED AND HAVE COME TO A END" meaning ? if the investigation goes on for 1 year i do 1 year extra duties ?
> So at the end they mean is to literally make me suffer, giving my stress which i am already very very stressed and also treatening me to say that if i wanna stop all this UNFAIR TREATMENT I MUST ACTUALLY ADMIT ???? WHEN I DID NOY EVEN LIKE FAKE ?
After all this happened, it was a nice day for me but after lunch, when all this was told to me. My day was totally spoiled, destroyed and ruined. I was totally moody all the way. I controlled my emotion. I almost cired at my upper studies cubicle. But i din i endured all of it till i reached home. I cried for literally 2 hours. I tried my best and this is how i get treated. I EVEN LITERALLY ENDURED WHAT EVER DISCOMFORT JUST TO GO BACK TO CAMP COS I REALLY LOVED MY NEW UNIT.
WHY JUST NORMAL HEALTHY PEOPLE CANT UNDERSTAND US PEOPLE WHO ARE WEAKER IN OUR HEALTH ? JUST BECOS WE KEEP GETTING SICK THAN U JUST TREAT US AS SOME PUNKSTER OR FAKER ? HOW THEY WAN US TO PROOF TO THEM ? LET THEM INVESTIGATE ? THAN AFTER THAT WHEN WE ARE REALLY SICK I NEED TO TRAVEL BACK TO CHANGI REPORT SICK, BUT SOME HOW DURING HALF WAY OF THE TRIP TO CHANGI I KICKED THE BUCKET ??
I am like OMG all the way u know ? I know it is by law for us Singaporean guys to serve National Service. But we are human also u know ? We are born in Singapore as human being NOT SLAVE and further more i dont think i owe ANYONE ANTHING ONLY THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE TROUBLE TO TEACH CARE AND LOVE ME, ENDURED THE PAIN AND LOSE LOTS OF BLOOD TO BORN ME and that person is no one but my mum. What is there for me to repay to the country ? They are not even helping us in anything. Thye just implement the structures and used our money to start the thing moving thats all. I am fine with NS but come on at least treat us like some HUMAN not dog or animal. But what ever it is. I am just gonna keep cool and keep quiet. BUT I REALLY DONT FEEL LIKE CONTINUING ... I JUST REALLY HOPE NOW TO BE WITH MY FATHER ... BUT I ALSO CANT BEAR TO LEAVE MY MOTHER .... I AM SERIOUSLY TIRED .... AND UPSET ... AND THE QUESTION THAT IS STILL LINGRING IN MY HEAD NOW ... IS IT JUST BECOS IT IS A WHAT EVER POLICY AND MAKING IT A COMPULSORY ISSUE AND THEY CAN JUST IMPLY AS AND WHAT THEY LIKE COS THEY ARE WHO THEY ARE ? EVEN WHEN IT IS UNREASONABLE ? FURTHER MORE WITH THE H1N1 THING. IMAGINE IF I AM H1 N1 POSITIVE AND I AM STILL DO NOT KNOW AND I TRAVEL ALL THE WAY TILL I REACH CHANGI THAN I KNOW I AM POSITIVE WITH IT. HOW MANY PERSON AM I GOING TO GET INVOLVED ? THOUSANDS ?
AM I THE ONLY ONE OR ARE THERE PEOPLE WITH THE SAME PROBLEM OUT THERE ? BUT BEING SILENCED ??
Sunday, June 21, 2009
SOme fuckers whom i treat him as a friend but treat me as a mere tool !
Sorry to those who read my blog but today i have reach my bloody limit. I am really pissed off with this guy whom i really treat him as a friend. YES WE ARE GAYS BUT WE ARE NOT BLOODY BITCHES. I tried to meet him out for lunch and he is like asking me to go to places he wanted. Nvm. I mean come on u call me to go to the place u wanted but also must see if i wanna go to the place or not right ? Nvm. Once he was working in clementi, he stays in woodlands and i mean come on we said lets meet for dinner. And u know what he say ?" Hmm lets go woodlands eat." I was like erm. Since u are passing by my area might as well we settle it at my area. Instead of me going to travel and waste my fair righT ? Since it is only dinner why make me travel so far ? and the place he choose so conviently is around his area. Come lor.
Nvm, today i was seeking for some people to chat on sgboy chat room. so some how, i saw he(not knowing it was him) wanna chat so i mean hey come on maybe lets hook up and chat right. So the conversation started as a decent one. as usual we ask each other age, height, weight and race. And hey kinda can click since same age group right ? so i ask hey whats ur msn. So he started to give me his msn. After copying and attempt to add him on my msn, i found out he is already on my msn and he was someone who i wanted to meet in the past but he kinda like those "ai mai ai mai" and give alot of stun those type. All along he is like on the edge of my good list and almost into the black list.
Last week or so, he was kinda feeling down so i thought hey lets chat to him and we chatted for a while. After that i thought just as friend i thought u wanna meet for breakfast since it was like 6 am in the morning. He said nah he wanna sleep cos he was tired. So i was fine with it. So i thought nvm there will be a next time. But in my mind i know this fellow there will not be a next time. So nvm.
But today he is like over board. After i told him who i was and so on i said hey lets chat on msn. U pm me and we chat there . He like din even bother to reply. So i waited and waited and finally i aid nvm. i pm him since he may be busy. But come on, what is more bastard than him. I pm him on msn he is flooding on the sgboy chat room. Nvm i pm him on sgboy chat room and he like din even reply and yet he can spam ! i was like omg. Trying to like find out what happen what i did wrong and so on he dont wanna even reply. And after so long i blew my top u know what he reply me ? this is what he said.
"no la why u say like that ?"
"i din see my msn"
"i am spamming here" ( on sgboy which i also kept asking if he was there )
to tell u the truth he was there ! and yet he ignored me. OMG i ask u guys out there. Is he like treating me as a friends or a tool ? when in need of someone to tlak to he will contat me and when no he will startt to ignore me ? FUCKER RIGHT ??
LET ME TELL U THIS U BLOODY SON OF THE GUN TEO L~F~~ ! I HAVE BEEN TREATING U LIKE A REAL FRIENDS AND WAS REALLY WORRIED ABOUT U AND NOW U WANNA BE LIKE THAT FINE ! GO TO HELL ! IT SHOWS ALOT ABOUT U ! ALL UR BLOODY RELATIONSHIP DIN WORK OUT IS NOT BECAUSE OF UR EX-BOYFRIENDS IS BECAUSE OF UR BLOODY CHARACTER ! GET IT ! GO AND BANG THE BLOODY WALL AND SUCK UR OWN BLOODY DICK ! AND DUMP UR BLOODY BRAIN AWAY !
Sorry to my reader out there that i am so violent here cos i am like really pissed off. I never like to have friends who do that to others. So sorrym, am off to bed ~~~ nite nite all love u guys.
Nvm, today i was seeking for some people to chat on sgboy chat room. so some how, i saw he(not knowing it was him) wanna chat so i mean hey come on maybe lets hook up and chat right. So the conversation started as a decent one. as usual we ask each other age, height, weight and race. And hey kinda can click since same age group right ? so i ask hey whats ur msn. So he started to give me his msn. After copying and attempt to add him on my msn, i found out he is already on my msn and he was someone who i wanted to meet in the past but he kinda like those "ai mai ai mai" and give alot of stun those type. All along he is like on the edge of my good list and almost into the black list.
Last week or so, he was kinda feeling down so i thought hey lets chat to him and we chatted for a while. After that i thought just as friend i thought u wanna meet for breakfast since it was like 6 am in the morning. He said nah he wanna sleep cos he was tired. So i was fine with it. So i thought nvm there will be a next time. But in my mind i know this fellow there will not be a next time. So nvm.
But today he is like over board. After i told him who i was and so on i said hey lets chat on msn. U pm me and we chat there . He like din even bother to reply. So i waited and waited and finally i aid nvm. i pm him since he may be busy. But come on, what is more bastard than him. I pm him on msn he is flooding on the sgboy chat room. Nvm i pm him on sgboy chat room and he like din even reply and yet he can spam ! i was like omg. Trying to like find out what happen what i did wrong and so on he dont wanna even reply. And after so long i blew my top u know what he reply me ? this is what he said.
"no la why u say like that ?"
"i din see my msn"
"i am spamming here" ( on sgboy which i also kept asking if he was there )
to tell u the truth he was there ! and yet he ignored me. OMG i ask u guys out there. Is he like treating me as a friends or a tool ? when in need of someone to tlak to he will contat me and when no he will startt to ignore me ? FUCKER RIGHT ??
LET ME TELL U THIS U BLOODY SON OF THE GUN TEO L~F~~ ! I HAVE BEEN TREATING U LIKE A REAL FRIENDS AND WAS REALLY WORRIED ABOUT U AND NOW U WANNA BE LIKE THAT FINE ! GO TO HELL ! IT SHOWS ALOT ABOUT U ! ALL UR BLOODY RELATIONSHIP DIN WORK OUT IS NOT BECAUSE OF UR EX-BOYFRIENDS IS BECAUSE OF UR BLOODY CHARACTER ! GET IT ! GO AND BANG THE BLOODY WALL AND SUCK UR OWN BLOODY DICK ! AND DUMP UR BLOODY BRAIN AWAY !
Sorry to my reader out there that i am so violent here cos i am like really pissed off. I never like to have friends who do that to others. So sorrym, am off to bed ~~~ nite nite all love u guys.
Friday, June 12, 2009
woots stuck at a friends plac and could do nothing
Today was a normal day ad yet it had a funny night ~ haha
This was what happen. Was hungry so i thought maybe i should go supper with my friend since he ask me to go with him. He was nice and he came and pick me up and he drove me to eat at west coast. The nasi lemak stall there which belong to my friend. o only we ate there but i also met my friend. Hahaha wow iwas surprised that after so long he is still the same as ever. Hahaha LAO HERO. But anyway after the supper we had a short chat. And he suggested that maybe we shold go to his place. Thinking that maybe i should just pay a visit since he ask me to so i said ok and i ask him but later are going to send me home right, he siad ya he will but 5 plus. So i was cool about it. Bt who knows after reachi his place we watch 2 episode of 24 lol ! He was tired and he said he wanna sleep. I was like lol ...... and looking at his mac book i was lost lol, but lucky i had use before so i was not so noobie towards it. But at first he told me to come lie and close my eyes to rest. But the problem is that i am suffering from insomia and i cant sleep. LOL . He kept asking me to lie down close my eyes to rest but the problem i cant cos i dont feel like sleeping or i should say i cant sleep lol. But at the end he was really nice and knew that i cant sleep and allowed me to use his mac book. I was kinda got touched by him as he was nice enought to lend me his mac book. Hahaha guess i gave him a hard time and yet he accomdated me. So sweet of him. Hehehe but i could i see he had never allowed anyone to use his com before. But ayway sometimes it s really nice to have friends like that and also care so much for one and other ^.^
Hahahah but oh well today this posting was posted sing a back boook ^.^ hehehe kindafun thought but i guess alot of mistake so pls bear with it ^.^ Hahahaha but dunno why for some reason the msn keep disconnecting LOL !!!!Bt who care is better than i have nothing to do right ? Oh well good night all hehehe i am now waiting for thi nice guy to wake up at 5 am and send me home hehehe ^.^ So good night and take care everyone, and one more thing the flu thing is on so u guys better take care out there ^.^
This was what happen. Was hungry so i thought maybe i should go supper with my friend since he ask me to go with him. He was nice and he came and pick me up and he drove me to eat at west coast. The nasi lemak stall there which belong to my friend. o only we ate there but i also met my friend. Hahaha wow iwas surprised that after so long he is still the same as ever. Hahaha LAO HERO. But anyway after the supper we had a short chat. And he suggested that maybe we shold go to his place. Thinking that maybe i should just pay a visit since he ask me to so i said ok and i ask him but later are going to send me home right, he siad ya he will but 5 plus. So i was cool about it. Bt who knows after reachi his place we watch 2 episode of 24 lol ! He was tired and he said he wanna sleep. I was like lol ...... and looking at his mac book i was lost lol, but lucky i had use before so i was not so noobie towards it. But at first he told me to come lie and close my eyes to rest. But the problem is that i am suffering from insomia and i cant sleep. LOL . He kept asking me to lie down close my eyes to rest but the problem i cant cos i dont feel like sleeping or i should say i cant sleep lol. But at the end he was really nice and knew that i cant sleep and allowed me to use his mac book. I was kinda got touched by him as he was nice enought to lend me his mac book. Hahaha guess i gave him a hard time and yet he accomdated me. So sweet of him. Hehehe but i could i see he had never allowed anyone to use his com before. But ayway sometimes it s really nice to have friends like that and also care so much for one and other ^.^
Hahahah but oh well today this posting was posted sing a back boook ^.^ hehehe kindafun thought but i guess alot of mistake so pls bear with it ^.^ Hahahaha but dunno why for some reason the msn keep disconnecting LOL !!!!Bt who care is better than i have nothing to do right ? Oh well good night all hehehe i am now waiting for thi nice guy to wake up at 5 am and send me home hehehe ^.^ So good night and take care everyone, and one more thing the flu thing is on so u guys better take care out there ^.^
Saturday, June 6, 2009
sweetsness for life ends but bitterness is always never ending
Today i am actually kinda moody, it seems like bad thing do come one after another, one of it is ns , than my health got worst. when i thought my life started to spice up alittle cos i found my love one, it started to crumble right before my very eye. Guess destiny for my love life with the guy i like have never been able to substain for long.
Let me share with u my little story that happen to me twice.
I met this guy on a certain chat room, we became friends and met. When we met, we felt that we can be together and slowly we developed it into a relationship, but soon, he was ask to go to malaysia cos his sister found out about him being a gay but not knowing about us being together, and started to brain wash him , though he is a malay mix chinese but he dont abit seems to be a malay to me. In my eye he was an ideal boyfriend to me, sweet , loving and caring. Thought he is in malaysia, he attemp to sms and even tried to call me everyday. It was very expensive but he din mind and he continued to contact me. Finally, he tried to fixed his internet and it succeedm And soon when ever he is free and when his sister is not home he will logo n his msn and try to chat to me and we will like chat and laught at all silly things that he and me can think off. Otherwise i will come up with stuns to make him stun for a moment and after that he will laugh.
Sad to say, soon his sister found out about us being together. His sister told his parents about it. Now, everything seems to be a mess for him in his life. While for me, i am all but just waiting and waiting. Hoping that it was just a mere dream that would be gone when i open my eye. But sad to say it is not a dream but it is reality. Now i guess his parent are already getting on him and already starting to ban him even to step out of his house and also cutting off all forms of contact for him till he get enlisted to ns. Hahaha, guess it is the way it is suppose to be for me in life. Hahaha last time my ex and now my latest date. Hahaha sometimes in life certain jokes are really painful. Lost of a love one, get looked down by people, get bullied, worry about my own health and now time and time again failure to a fruitful relationship. Maybe it is fated for me that nothing is sweet. Even when i was young i have a sad, lonely and bitter childhood. And now when i am already in my twenties it is still the same. I cant really imagine what will happen in the years to come. Hope everything will be fine.
So i guess like what he suggested, maybe it is time to let go and continue with each of our life. But to me i still stick to my moto :
" What we are is who we are, Who we are is what we are. Be it u try to be another person or not. We are born to be like this and this is fate. Destiny has already been arrange for us therefore we cant do anything but to be the follower of the path that have been paved for us"
To the person who i maybe talking about. Take care of urself, thought we may be together for just a short period of time. I guess it is like what u say, time to let things off the dangling string and continue with our life. But when things settle down i hope u will still contact me and still be friends. And for the last time . Take Care and Farewell ^.^ Though i maybe a normal person and not a person of wisdom and knowledge but i hope u guys who are reading this posting will understand to those out there who have the same situation as me and also help them ^.^ So i guess it is all for now ^.^ Bye Bye
Let me share with u my little story that happen to me twice.
I met this guy on a certain chat room, we became friends and met. When we met, we felt that we can be together and slowly we developed it into a relationship, but soon, he was ask to go to malaysia cos his sister found out about him being a gay but not knowing about us being together, and started to brain wash him , though he is a malay mix chinese but he dont abit seems to be a malay to me. In my eye he was an ideal boyfriend to me, sweet , loving and caring. Thought he is in malaysia, he attemp to sms and even tried to call me everyday. It was very expensive but he din mind and he continued to contact me. Finally, he tried to fixed his internet and it succeedm And soon when ever he is free and when his sister is not home he will logo n his msn and try to chat to me and we will like chat and laught at all silly things that he and me can think off. Otherwise i will come up with stuns to make him stun for a moment and after that he will laugh.
Sad to say, soon his sister found out about us being together. His sister told his parents about it. Now, everything seems to be a mess for him in his life. While for me, i am all but just waiting and waiting. Hoping that it was just a mere dream that would be gone when i open my eye. But sad to say it is not a dream but it is reality. Now i guess his parent are already getting on him and already starting to ban him even to step out of his house and also cutting off all forms of contact for him till he get enlisted to ns. Hahaha, guess it is the way it is suppose to be for me in life. Hahaha last time my ex and now my latest date. Hahaha sometimes in life certain jokes are really painful. Lost of a love one, get looked down by people, get bullied, worry about my own health and now time and time again failure to a fruitful relationship. Maybe it is fated for me that nothing is sweet. Even when i was young i have a sad, lonely and bitter childhood. And now when i am already in my twenties it is still the same. I cant really imagine what will happen in the years to come. Hope everything will be fine.
So i guess like what he suggested, maybe it is time to let go and continue with each of our life. But to me i still stick to my moto :
" What we are is who we are, Who we are is what we are. Be it u try to be another person or not. We are born to be like this and this is fate. Destiny has already been arrange for us therefore we cant do anything but to be the follower of the path that have been paved for us"
To the person who i maybe talking about. Take care of urself, thought we may be together for just a short period of time. I guess it is like what u say, time to let things off the dangling string and continue with our life. But when things settle down i hope u will still contact me and still be friends. And for the last time . Take Care and Farewell ^.^ Though i maybe a normal person and not a person of wisdom and knowledge but i hope u guys who are reading this posting will understand to those out there who have the same situation as me and also help them ^.^ So i guess it is all for now ^.^ Bye Bye
Monday, May 25, 2009
alliance ? hostile ? peace ? war ? which is the best out of this 4 ?
Someone use to tell me this that everyone's life is like a piece of plain paper where u will have to draw and colour it. i do agree with it, but some how , not always the piece of plain paper can be beautifully coloured as some colours cant be match with each other. Same thing are applied when it comes to friendship too. There are some who are just really out to make friends, some is out to prey on others, some are out to be jealous of others because of who they are and what they are, some literally is out to just create chaos and of cos some is just out to be a puppet master who trys to make people into their puppet.
Some how, now adays i notice, when friends always get really close, alot of us will think that we know alot about them, but seriously, i dont think so. but the best part is, some of them u do really know them inside out and yet they still try to deny the fact and try to make themself a very mysterious person, trying to change themself or should i say reform themself into someone else so as to let people never know about their true personality. Some are just literally stubborn, so what can we do, just suck thumb and see how that silly person continue to be a full fledge fool.
There are times where i always have a thought in my mind such as "why do i have friends who are like that ?" and i do question myself further,
1) heavens will ?
2) Just my bloody luck ?
3) testing my patience ?
4) or just a puddle of water which have to pass by ?
i keep asking and asking myself, and today i kinda found out the answer by myself, like i always say in this world there are different kinda people, thats why this world is form. There are always people who go against each other and there are some where they can never be friends ? and in some cases there are some where they do become friends and slowly conflicts starts to happen.
Showing them concern and care is just like a waste of time after the person keep trying to make u agitated and unhappy, but i just let him continue his nonsense, sad to say, the tolerance for such attitude is wearing off, and the best part was he told me to search my soul and think of my attitude and he just cut off the phone, but lets put it this way who should be the one ? that person should know where his stands are as compared to mine. He maybe a bussiness man but in my eyes he is just a over grown person with no realistic attitude. A attitude which minority maybe able to endure but not to the majority. One who dont face reality, running away from reality , grabbing to what he wants but never accept what people see or say, even when we tell him that it is not just piece of rock is piece but it is a piece of unrefine jade. he will still stand on his points and say it is just a piece of rock.
Thats why now a days, i cant really be bothered with him, and feel like i should slowly fade aways and not contact him any further, talking to him without the slightest interest was a volunteering action without even me noticing. Now a days when we speak even the smallest issue we can get into a arguement, so to me whats the use of maintaining a friendship which is already a plate of rotten food. i strive not to give and try to maintain the friendship but my effort is not very effective, and worst he say that i always wanna win and never think of him. but did he do the same thing which he said ? but giving him the benefit of doubt i still take it as thought he was joking but still it is abit too much.
But looking at how things goes naturally for a rabbit and chicken , a rabbit can never be friend with a chicken, as the character of the both clashes. it is just like the water and the fire, where one will try to over rule the other and will never be good friends. one is the element of starting a life while the other is the element which leads to destruction.and without fail one will try to rule against the other naturally.
After thinking again and again over this issue and what have happen in the past few days, even after he and me have been friend for 1 year plus or even more, i believe and thinks that it is time. I guess since he dont wanna face the fact that our friendship is not working very well, and now a days we are starting to get distances as "brothers" i guess it is time. it is not a issue of who is the one who is in the wrong and who is in the right cos each of us have our point of view of the situation. when there is a argument each of use tend to be more unreasonable furthermore now a days the situation got worst. so thats is why i said it is just that our character dont match and cant be friends. since now a days u like to agitate me and want to make thing slimy for us. go ahead. my heart is already dead. as i have told u before, i am not a nice person , i am a guy with a dead heart who can just give and take and forget about everything just like that. and even when u are begging me on ur knees, i will not turn back on my decision and will still stick to my decision. i am a very cold hearted person cos i was trained to be like this since young. So dont say i take for granted for whatever things i have in life. But u should be the one who should not take advantage of the things in life. the quality of life u have as compared to mine u should know who is the more fortunate one. so dont say that i am the one taking things for granted.
So on this memorable date 26th May 2009 with this posting on my blog, i have decided that i think we should not waste anymore time, u take ur path in life and i will take mine, wish u all the best with ur soon to be boyfriend. Enjoy urself and dont get hurt, think twice as hard when u do something. It is time where we should part and never contact each other anymore. Becos i feel that it is better for us to lead our own life and dont make things so complicated anymore. Dont bother to contact me anymore, i feel there is no reason to keep in contact. so good byw my good friend. i wish u happiness and health.
Some how, now adays i notice, when friends always get really close, alot of us will think that we know alot about them, but seriously, i dont think so. but the best part is, some of them u do really know them inside out and yet they still try to deny the fact and try to make themself a very mysterious person, trying to change themself or should i say reform themself into someone else so as to let people never know about their true personality. Some are just literally stubborn, so what can we do, just suck thumb and see how that silly person continue to be a full fledge fool.
There are times where i always have a thought in my mind such as "why do i have friends who are like that ?" and i do question myself further,
1) heavens will ?
2) Just my bloody luck ?
3) testing my patience ?
4) or just a puddle of water which have to pass by ?
i keep asking and asking myself, and today i kinda found out the answer by myself, like i always say in this world there are different kinda people, thats why this world is form. There are always people who go against each other and there are some where they can never be friends ? and in some cases there are some where they do become friends and slowly conflicts starts to happen.
Showing them concern and care is just like a waste of time after the person keep trying to make u agitated and unhappy, but i just let him continue his nonsense, sad to say, the tolerance for such attitude is wearing off, and the best part was he told me to search my soul and think of my attitude and he just cut off the phone, but lets put it this way who should be the one ? that person should know where his stands are as compared to mine. He maybe a bussiness man but in my eyes he is just a over grown person with no realistic attitude. A attitude which minority maybe able to endure but not to the majority. One who dont face reality, running away from reality , grabbing to what he wants but never accept what people see or say, even when we tell him that it is not just piece of rock is piece but it is a piece of unrefine jade. he will still stand on his points and say it is just a piece of rock.
Thats why now a days, i cant really be bothered with him, and feel like i should slowly fade aways and not contact him any further, talking to him without the slightest interest was a volunteering action without even me noticing. Now a days when we speak even the smallest issue we can get into a arguement, so to me whats the use of maintaining a friendship which is already a plate of rotten food. i strive not to give and try to maintain the friendship but my effort is not very effective, and worst he say that i always wanna win and never think of him. but did he do the same thing which he said ? but giving him the benefit of doubt i still take it as thought he was joking but still it is abit too much.
But looking at how things goes naturally for a rabbit and chicken , a rabbit can never be friend with a chicken, as the character of the both clashes. it is just like the water and the fire, where one will try to over rule the other and will never be good friends. one is the element of starting a life while the other is the element which leads to destruction.and without fail one will try to rule against the other naturally.
After thinking again and again over this issue and what have happen in the past few days, even after he and me have been friend for 1 year plus or even more, i believe and thinks that it is time. I guess since he dont wanna face the fact that our friendship is not working very well, and now a days we are starting to get distances as "brothers" i guess it is time. it is not a issue of who is the one who is in the wrong and who is in the right cos each of us have our point of view of the situation. when there is a argument each of use tend to be more unreasonable furthermore now a days the situation got worst. so thats is why i said it is just that our character dont match and cant be friends. since now a days u like to agitate me and want to make thing slimy for us. go ahead. my heart is already dead. as i have told u before, i am not a nice person , i am a guy with a dead heart who can just give and take and forget about everything just like that. and even when u are begging me on ur knees, i will not turn back on my decision and will still stick to my decision. i am a very cold hearted person cos i was trained to be like this since young. So dont say i take for granted for whatever things i have in life. But u should be the one who should not take advantage of the things in life. the quality of life u have as compared to mine u should know who is the more fortunate one. so dont say that i am the one taking things for granted.
So on this memorable date 26th May 2009 with this posting on my blog, i have decided that i think we should not waste anymore time, u take ur path in life and i will take mine, wish u all the best with ur soon to be boyfriend. Enjoy urself and dont get hurt, think twice as hard when u do something. It is time where we should part and never contact each other anymore. Becos i feel that it is better for us to lead our own life and dont make things so complicated anymore. Dont bother to contact me anymore, i feel there is no reason to keep in contact. so good byw my good friend. i wish u happiness and health.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
OMG POSTING ORDER OUT AND IT SUX ~
today is a shocking day for me as today my new camp called me to go and report in tomorrow, but to my horror, they said that my new camp is no different from where i am .... it is stilll located still at changi area, and guess where am i staying ? batok area .., imagine my job is 8 to 5 and every day i have to travel like nobodies bussiness .. u just imagine my goodness. even my platooon commander said it was abit too much. but anyway, it is ok bah since my Platoon commander is trying to change for me my posting, and lucky me i still have 12 more days of mc to allow my asthma to get better.
So i hope by the end of the 12 day, i will get my new posting and it will be like NEAR to my home and now one end to the other end of singapore again. i find it rather stupid that they did such stunning thing, for example my friend who stays at pasir ris, they gave him a posting at Gombak camp which is like so near to me and for me i am given changi one of thecamp there, why cant they just give me the gombak camp and than that guy the changi area camp right ?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 2 weeks of enlistment only and i am staying to turn mah .... OMG pls some one help me before i go mad again ~~~ and pls IMG pls pls pls leave me a nice room with the city view, * wonder will i still know whats is outside when i am already mad*. but anyway today when i left my old camp i said good byes to my sgt and platoon commander, if i go back i sure wanna et my platoon sgt number hahaha
Oh well it is getting really late, so i guess i will head to bed and rest tooo tired and my eye are shutting itself , so good night all and love u guys . MUmmy i love u the most~~~ muacks ~~~ love u mummy and a happy mothers day ~
So i hope by the end of the 12 day, i will get my new posting and it will be like NEAR to my home and now one end to the other end of singapore again. i find it rather stupid that they did such stunning thing, for example my friend who stays at pasir ris, they gave him a posting at Gombak camp which is like so near to me and for me i am given changi one of thecamp there, why cant they just give me the gombak camp and than that guy the changi area camp right ?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 2 weeks of enlistment only and i am staying to turn mah .... OMG pls some one help me before i go mad again ~~~ and pls IMG pls pls pls leave me a nice room with the city view, * wonder will i still know whats is outside when i am already mad*. but anyway today when i left my old camp i said good byes to my sgt and platoon commander, if i go back i sure wanna et my platoon sgt number hahaha
Oh well it is getting really late, so i guess i will head to bed and rest tooo tired and my eye are shutting itself , so good night all and love u guys . MUmmy i love u the most~~~ muacks ~~~ love u mummy and a happy mothers day ~
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