hello everyone~~
happy new year ~~~ and soon happy lunar new year ~~~~ it has been sometimes i have updated my bloggy cause was kinda busy ^^ but oh well soon it is gonna be time for the big occasion and my 22th birthday i am like so happy but also kinda sad, my army letter is gonna come soon and i can feel the vipes of it thought is is strong but i cant really tell when it is gonna come. Anyway dont say bout it ler, thought it is kinda sad but there is no way for me to avoid it i guess, but mark my words am not gonna ber a government doggy. so now lets ignore the painful andd sad feeling about the ns thingy and look forward to the lunar new years. ^^ well 16 more days and the lunar new year is coming, though it is kinda of a bad year but come on lets celebrate it and hope that after the festive season it would make a 180 degree change.
anyway recently i have been thinking throught bout things, i feel that thought things are kinda hard to do in life but if we try and give it our best shot it is gonna work out just fine. though it maybe tough but we can still make it cos we humans can do anything we want as long as we strive hard for it and work for the target we plot ourself. though plotting the target tooooo high may also make things hard for us. like people like to say, reach for the skys if u casnt reach for the stars. but the higher u climb the more it hurts when u fall. well it is realistic and a facts is always a facts. though it is wat i always tell myself but in the past sometimes i try to avoid it and making myself happy by illusinating and dreaming, but now when i have reach my current age, i felt that it is kinda silly of me to think like this cos what ever is to happen will happen, be it big or small it will happen. like us human, starts with just a sperm and ovary and slowly develope into a baby taking 9 months long and later we are been delivered. We slowly aged and learn things along the way every minutes and second. soon when it is time for use to leave this world and go to a better place we will just pass on.
it is a normal process of life, thought i am kinda upset bout the ns thingy but i thing i have no choice bout it. i guess there is somethings we have to surrender in life in order to exchange for our own freedoms. just like our parents, when i was young i always think that making a child is kinda easy, but wrecently when i think back, imagine how much they have to sacrifice just to give birth to us, not only the money but also the times and many other factors. thought i really have to admit i really let my parents down because i am a gay first of all and than also i am a total failure to them. thats why i have been trying my very best to patch up whatever it is and make my mum and my pass on dad happy. though i have told my mum about me being a gay and i was prepared for the worst where she would disown me and throw me out. but at the end, she accpeted me for being a gay smiling at me and told me that she really hope that i would try to change back for her sake. i told her i will try though. knowing that she is deeply hurt and upset makes me feel very down because she din even show any expression that she was sad but she smiled at me instead.
oh well, no matter what i am not gonna give up on myself and also what ever is gonna happen ^^ thought life is like always up and down but i believe i can get through it. my godma bao zhu is so cute and also not a normal lady, she could see the gods and reads people fortunes , though she knows that i am a gay she still accepted me. but when i told her bout my worries she say that i need not worry because someday i will become someone with a very good life and also very rich, i was like you must be joking right but oh well i just accepted it with a smile. but somethings she say bout me is really true. like the part she say, no one knows whether i am sad or not because i never show it on my face, and when i am upset i will just smile things off. outside i dont think of things but when i am at home alone lock up in my own room i tend to think of alot of things. so i guess i really hope what she say is gonna be true.
oh well it is getting late, so i guess i am gonna go off and slack haha .... u guys out there be it u are my friend or not, take care and enjoy ur lifes with ur dear once, each person only lives once and experiences everything once, each have only 1 mum and 1 dad so treasure them much no matter how they treat u or hate u but still we have to love them ^^ thought we are gays and already being dislike by the public but we are still humans. dont care bout what people call us and be strong ^^ tc all my friends ^^ love u guys. LOVE U MUMMY and MY DEAR
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